(This is something I’m experiencing and I’m pretty spooked.)

Every day is the same, now.

I’m looking out the car window,

Or walking my dog.

I notice much more than usual.

More detail.

As if this is the last time I’ll see this season,

That this is the final time I will notice the leaves.

Or that I need to live now, becasue something is about to happen.

I’m walking my dog,

Watching my house as I grow closer to it,

Noticing it seems too inanimate.

And as I grow closer to the door,

It’s as if the world is closing in as I walk in.

I need to make sure I experience everything I can,

That’s what my head has said.

This feeling…like it’s the last time I’ll see this place, the season,

The last time I’ll be here on this date.

Like the world is either going to be saved…

Or I will die, early and not late.

My heart is hammering as I write these thoughts,

My ears feel like cotton and my eyes are watering.

I feel as though something is going to happen,

That the world will end,

God will save us,

Or maybe I’m just insane.

Everything feels so unreal,

Or that I’ve just missed it all.

What is this feeling?