It’s a terrible thing, to be a siren without a voice. Now before you get all pitying, just take a moment to think about all the life dreams you’ve never achieved. See? It happens to the best of us.

I’ve never really let it bother me, if I’m honest. I mean, I keep away from the siren crowd as much as I can - they’re all a bunch of stuck ups anyway - and live, what I guess most would call a secluded life.

My castle - yes, you heard me right, I own a castle - is perched atop a wind-beaten cliff overlooking a cerulean sea. Every morning carries the tang of salt on the breeze. Every night is lit by the blush of the stars.

Jealous?

Well … if I’m being honest, the life of a hermit isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. When you’ve seen the ocean from your window once, it hardly changes much. You get tired of the stench of fish, and burning your fingertips lighting candles every night. Routine becomes all that you know; when you’re trained not to see the unexpected, it can really sock you in the jaw.

So that’s probably why it takes me a day to realised the sea’s disappeared.