You never asked, but I can't stand your snoring,

It's actually amazing, I can't believe you haven't sucked me in yet.

You never asked, but I think you're a terrible cook,

I've never met anyone who can't make a salad before.

You never asked, but I can't help but laugh when you yell at the tv,

Remember watching Love Island together? I laughed so hard my tea went up my nose.

You never asked, ...

I know I shouldn’t want this because it goes against every single rule in the rule book. And yeah, I’m not the kind of guy that follows the law to the letter, but when you’re literally breaking every single law, maybe it’s time to take a step back and ask - what the hell am I doing?

What the hell am I doing?

Well, since you asked, I’ll tell you. I’m falling in love with a boy from the past, whic...

'It's never been easy, being me-'

'That's terrible, Nells, cut that.'

'Really? B-but it's true!'

'Cut. It.'

'Ugh, fine. But only because you asked so nicely.'

'What's next?'

'Right. Ahem. I know all of you have come to know and love me-'

'Have we?'

'Shut up, you love me. Where was I?'

'I love you.’

'Right. All of you have come to know and love... you love me?'

'I love you, Nells. Now h...

Fireworks, like paint splatters, freckled the smoggy sky, trailing streams of crimson, vermillion, azure. The light from the show cast strange shadows over the caravans - twisted shadows, darkened doorways. Made a labyrinth of the carnival.

I couldn’t see the footpath between the tents, couldn’t make out the wires in the half-dark. And I was assaulted by smells at every turn - the hairdryer burn...

You know, I really wasn't feeling it today.

Have you ever felt like that, like no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to summon the strength?

That was me.

And I can't seem to shake that feeling, that I'm the problem.

That thought gnaws at me, gives strength to my lack of

But then-

Then I think about you, and what you would say, then

I think about all the times I did my job and I did it...

Now I know what you're all thinking.

You're thinking, who's that little green guy, trying to inspire us into revolution?

Hi! (waves enthusiastically) I'm Selander.

(rapid applause from the audience)

Oh, you're too kind! Flowers, really? For me? Why thank you.

'Sel?'

And a trophy! Why I couldn't possibly...

'Sel?'

You'll name your first-born after me! Why, the honour-

'Selander!' Nahara poked ...

It's funny how the entire course of your life can hinge on one decision. Take Masahiko, who wouldn't usually frequent a public house but had crumbled under pressure from his scene partner.

'Come along, Hiko!' cried Jameson, a papercut of a boy whose hair stood on end whenever it was combed. 'I know just the place!'

Masahiko learned a lot about pubs in the first few minutes of entering one. You s...

Who knew palaces were so full of bureaucracy? I mean, I’ve been training my whole life to slay dragons on the battlefield, but when I’ve got to slay them in a boardroom? No thank you. That’s literally not my area of expertise.

Problem is… it’s what the people expect of me. Never mind that their princess just returned from fighting a war - a war against dragons, I hasten to add! - they can’t wait ...

Floorboards creak, bearing the weight of stately figures,

Children scamper through hallowed halls, off on grand adventures.

Stained glass windows cast coloured shadows, bright pools of light,

Plates laden with food crowd the tables, a welcome sight.

Not a speck out of place, not even a cushion tassel out of alignment,

There are worse places for me to spend my confinement.

I have seen many co...

Growing up, Oswin was very ill. Living on the streets for a month had clearly taken its toll. He was starving and dehydrated and so incredibly tired so that, on one overcast Wednesday, when he found a deserted alleyway set back from the road, Oswin sat down and contemplated never getting up again.

That’s when he met Selander.

Oswin’s memory of that day was admittedly fuzzy. He could recall sho...