The moment I turn my back I know I’ve made a mistake. But if I go back now what what all of it for?

I shake my head and do my best to banish these thoughts. To think anything of the sort would be doing a disservice to myself and I cannot allow that.

Perseverance is the name of the game and I can persevere, I promise myself. I make many promises to myself. Most I know deep down I will not keep. A persons will is only so strong. I’m not perfect.

I steel myself before every step until walking becomes bearable. Once walking becomes bearable it becomes easy. So does skipping and running. It hard to believe that there was a time I could not fathom doing these things.

I hit a river; bigger than any river I had ever come across. I falter.

The itch to turn back returns and it hits be like a ton of bricks. I’d forgotten this feeling. But I’m far away know. Even if I turned back I would not be able to identify what I left behind. Then I truly understand.

In my understanding a cold shudder runs down my back. When I look inside myself I’m shocked to find almost nothing at all.

Then I see something glint and I look closer. There in my chest where my heart had once been now sat a smooth as glass stone. I try to reach in and remove it but I can’t. Every time I get close my whole chest feels like it’s going to collapse in on itself.

I’m lost. I don’t know what to do. I cannot cross the river and I cannot remove the stone from my body.

I begin to doubt everything I actually can do. Can I run? Can I skip? Can I even walk?

I sink to the ground and let the muddy bank of the river stain my knees. I sink down down and do not move.

I think days pass, or maybe even months. Debating, wondering, and waiting. Waiting for what, I’m not sure until I hear a noise from down the path I’ve made.

I turn my neck slowly, and it cracks as I do.

Who else would it be but you? You… It’s you I swear. I feel the stone in my chest swell but instead of weighing me down I feel lighter. With every being of my body I want to call out to you, run to you. I take my first full breath in what feels like years. My mouth forms the words but-

You walk by me.

I watch as you make an impossible leap over the river and carry on. You don’t turn back either.

The words die on my tongue. My stone heart shrinks and it feels heavier than before.

Now I’m the one you left behind.