“What! Huh!”

The radio on the alarm clock is playing a country morning show.

I woke up in a startle and yip. It took a minute for my mind to wake up and register that I was home and in my own bed. Yes last night is a bit fuzzy just now. I managed a glance at the curtains to see decently bright daylight. The day seems to be nice and sunny outside. I nob with approval because I did not want to have to deal with rain today.

The time on the clock does not lie, I am running late. “Late”, with a chuckle, that should be my middle name. Just a quickly as the joke was formed the wave of sadness was back. He would have made that joke and I would laugh with him every time.

The gravity of the date set’s in with an audible click as I’m finishing up my shower. The hot water and spring time fragrance soup have done their work and broke through the thick fog I woke up in. Only a big mug of hot coffee and warm comfort clothes will do now. I pick out my best sweater and my favorite pair of slacks. Nice enough for today but cozy.

Journaling last night was exactly what I needed. I was able to process some of my emotions before today. Before seeing anyone. Before their unending questions. I was up pretty late though, I’m going to need more coffee. I am glad I asked the venue to have it ready. Oh yes, reaching across the vanity, waterproof mascara and concealer.

….

I’m at the front door to leave. Double check I have everything I need, and /or might need today.

Keys - check

Wallet - check

Phone - check

Waterproof mascara - check

Tissue pack - always check

Hair that can stand high velocity winds - check

Eulogy -- (big sigh) check 💧

The gamit of emotions I have had to battle while preparing myself to leave today has been one of the hardest since the day I quit my corporate job after seven years of loyal service.