It’s been two years exactly since you took your last breath. We all stood by your side, for hours, holding your hands, telling you to let go, as you breathed the death rattle, fighting to live, even though you were basically brain dead. Those moments are so much more haunting and traumatic and beautiful than most could ever understand.

I. Am. Angry. Why? Why you? You were the greatest man I have ever met. You were fierce in your love and in the strength of family. You taught me so much, and often times I feels so ashamed that so much of our last years together were filled with strife and worry, and disappointments from me.

You should be here. Seeing me rise up out of the ashes of my previous bad choices. You should be here to see how absolutely, beautifully perfect your grandson is.

You should be here to hug me. To encourage me. To always support me and believe in me. To make fun of me. To make our lives, livelier and just... better.

You should be there to walk me down the aisle. To watch me graduate college and become a counselor. To see James grow up and graduate high school. To see him fall in love and get married and have his own children. You should be there to remind me of what true love is every time I see you and mom together, because you are soulmates.

And you will be, in our hearts and in our thoughts. Every happy moment we go through, will always be just a little bit sad because you aren’t by our sides.

Daddy- I love you. I miss you so much. But although, there will always be a hole in our hearts where you were, we are slowly getting better. Stronger. Smelling the roses, as they say.

You were a joyful man, and we must remember all of the good times and light you brought to our lives, and let it continue to shine upon us.