When someone asks me

What sport I play

I respond with Swimming

But I wish I didn’t

I don’t enjoy it

But you do

You swam when you were in high school

And you want me to do the same

When you’re working away in your office

Hidden away from the world

I never see you now

But only when I do swim

You come out to the light

Telling me what do to

Spending time with me at meets

Driving me to practice

The only time we talk

Is on the way to swim

You tell me to make my own choices

But if I told you I wanted to stop you would get upset

Upset I don’t want to be like you

Upset I don’t want to swim like you did

You swam butterfly

So you make me swim butterfly

People ask me if I enjoy swimming

I say yes

But I don’t enjoy swimming

I enjoy spending time with you

I go to practice for you

Asking to skip makes you angry

So I don’t ask

I purposefully fall asleep

To get out of the sport

I tell you I feel sick

But I see your reaction

And I see your passive aggressive tone

How it’s my choice

But you wouldn’t make that decision yourself

I played basketball

Because she played it

And when I quit she was sad

I don’t want to make you sad

I want to spend time with you

I want to see you more

But I know I can’t because you’re always away

Either in another country or downstairs until 4am

Working on a contract that’s due tomorrow

Then another one

Then another one

An endless cycle of work

Never being able to rest

Or see your family

I want to spend time with you

And I can with swimming

But I don’t want to swim

If I leave my sport I leave time with you

My heart isn’t aligned with the sport

I don’t have a killer instinct to swim faster

But I’ll try to tolerate it

If it means time with you