You scare me out of myself.

You scare me into being someone who is hiding from people like you.

You scare me into not being able to reach out to talk about how I feel in fear of being in trouble or locked away for my emotions.

You scare me into hiding blades to collect dust for a decision I can make in a blur of emotions.

You scare me into watching how I look every day and every second so I can li...

I have the feeling you hate me

I know people say it’s not true

But whenever I come around you I feel it

I feel like you’re annoyed at me

That you hate me

And I hate that

I can’t ask you about it

Because you will deny it

But every part of me is screaming that you have me

I feel like I’ve messed up

And you hate me for that

Or that I’m annoying you

And you hate me for that reason

I won’t ask you if ...

Hi

I wish I could come up to you

And give you a hug

Tell you everything is going to be ok

That you will make it through

I’m sorry that on your first year at a new school

You were treated like that

And how you left the year with more issues than before

I’m sorry how she was your first friend

And I’m sorry that I didn’t prevent it

I wish that I could tell you to skip the event for your school

And...

Skin

I try to pretend it doesn’t get under my skin

That I don’t itch for it to go away

That I don’t let anything bother me

That I can hold my temperament

Saying that I don’t get angry or upset

But I lie

Everything goes under my skin

Like there’s a big gaping wound that everything goes into

Like there’s an entrance for issues

And words

And looks people give

That get to me

That carry spears to go ...

You attack my appearance

When after I say nothing about yours

In a silly battle of words

Your mind goes to my face

My hair

How I am presented

My body

When I never said anything of yours

You whisper curses behind my back

Thinking I’ll never hear

But I do

It hurts my feelings knowing you speak ill of me

Knowing someone I liked turned on me

To being out of ideas going for the easy target

How someone...

When someone asks me

What sport I play

I respond with Swimming

But I wish I didn’t

I don’t enjoy it

But you do

You swam when you were in high school

And you want me to do the same

When you’re working away in your office

Hidden away from the world

I never see you now

But only when I do swim

You come out to the light

Telling me what do to

Spending time with me at meets

Driving me to practice

The onl...

We are born into this world

And told to speak

To express ourselves

To tell others of our needs

To speak in your mother tongue

That you learn so early on

Growing comfortable in speech

Talking to people on the daily

Communicating like we were born to

But when I speak it’s different

It’s a nervous feeling using my mother tongue

Having to speak to others

Or anyone at all

So nervous that when I speak m...

Left out

I see your stares across the room

How you get upset when you can’t sit next to one of your friends and you have to sit next to me

Because I’m not of your better friends

Even though you say I am

I see how you look at eachother when I talk

Trying to say something to you

But you don’t hear

You’re too busy walking away

Or ignoring me

I see how you look at her in class

I’m sitting behind you b...

You make me stupid

You make me feel stupid

I’m smart

I’m smarter than you think

Yet you always make me the stupid character

In every group I’m ever in

Why?

I keep more in my head than I say

I feel more than I say

I care more than I say

And you make me your fool

For entertainment and jokes

With me always being the bud

It hurts my feelings

I never say that

I need to

I need to tell you it hurts my fe...

Sadness

I have so much sad in me

Born with sadness in my veins

It’s the only stable thing that goes through me

Flowing back and forth my body

Sadness is always there

Under every happy moment

There is a sadness

One I can not describe

For it is always there

When I get sad it comes in waves

But not small ones

Tsunami waves crashing inside my head

Rocking my brain and spilling out of my eyes

My sadn...