I was nervously sweating, I realized. The scent of salt filling my nostrils as beads of sweat formed on my upper lip. “What?”

“You heard me,” My supervisor spat, rubbing his temple with annoyance as he handed me the hard drive.

As I squeezed it in my palm, avoiding to look at it, I kept my eyes on his perfected suit, the angular lines of his black jacket, the solid red tie, and the slickness of his black pants. It seemed to settle me, presenting me normalcy to cling onto as he continued to speak down to me. The hard drive felt like a heavy stone in my palm.

“Show those kids those damn files. Now.” His clammy hands tugged on his tie as he assessed me. Those lifeless eyes filled with lethal judgement. “That’s an order, Forest.”

Without another word, he turned on his heels and walked off, down the school’s hallway of brightly colored alphabet posters and poorly drawn assignments.

I wanted to cry, fall to my knees and sink into the floor. Hadn’t I done all I could? Was my best not enough?

“Mrs. Forest?”

I turned, facing a student of mine, Hudson. I was never allowed to know my student’s ages, due to the government’s fear of worker revolt when faced with factual innocence.

However, I knew he couldn’t be older than eight with that messy brown hair and the missing front teeth in his crooked smile.

“Don’t worry, I’m not running away.” I laughed, the air I forced out hurting my lungs. “Get back to your seat, Hudson.”

“You’re in trouble~!” I heard Willa’s voice squeak from the classroom, causing a mess of giggles to follow as Hudson ran back through the doorway into the classroom.

I forced my lips to formed into painfully fake smile, my teeth aching at the pressure as I carried myself to my desk on wobbling heels.

I tried my best to settle myself, notice the softness of my seat, the clicking of the clock above the whiteboard, the scattered giggles of students. But, it wasn’t working.

“Today, students,” I began, my voice shakier than I intended. I knew they could tell in my body language something was wrong, my gaze avoiding their innocent ones. “I have been given your new special lessons.”

Hushed gasps filled with wonder scattered across the room, their eyes not seeming to notice the brand I now bore in the center of my palm as I uncurled my fist.

I’d been squeezing the hard drive so hard I had indented my skin, leaving a bloody mark to atone for what I had to do.

I wanted to scream.

no.

No.

NO!

With shaking hands, I pressed the hard drive into my computer and the sound of innocent wonder went silent.