and i realized that it was me that i couldn’t let go of,

it was who i used to be.

so i tried to squeeze myself inside of a person i no longer was- rejecting every part of me that had decided to change,

it was always me who i couldn’t leave behind.

it wasn’t you, or all the love i used to swear i had,

or the way i remember how you used to smile,

it was the horrible realization of my reality so i escaped inside of you, wandered until i was lost so i didn’t have to look at myself.

escaped until my heart broke into pieces,

the feeling of heart ache resembling the feel of winter.

cold and unfriendly, all of the leaves have fallen and the softest layer of snow frosts itself over my entire world.

and by trying to love you instead of myself i was never moving forward, just frozen in time.