So many thoughts. Email notifications. Meeting and task reminders. Unmet desires. No time for anything, when overwhelmed by everything.

I close my laptop and lay back on my bed. Close my eyes and try to clear my mind. An ambitious thought of meditating. I grab my phone, as if to open my guided meditation app, and go immediately to Instagram instead.

I scroll through the posts. The stories. The reels. Lost in swiping this way and that, to the side for some, up and down for others. Each click opening another path, a different thread in the never ending web of social media.

Suddenly I remember. I’m supposed to be clearing my mind. The synaptic trance, the catharsis of instant gratification, a million little dopamine hits - gone in an instant. Replaced by the reminder of the workload that awaits me, feeling like I’m drowning in quicksand. I can never get out of this, and soon enough I’ll feel like I can’t breathe.

I look at the time and realize I cannot take another second to quiet my mind. I’ve taken too long already. My laptop is opened again, and I swallow hard, but mentally. Somewhere in my mind, everything getting pushed back down. Stored away for a later time.

Immediately overwhelmed again by the chaos, and just as quickly trying to rid myself of this thought. I have to block it out and power through. Focus on one thing at a time.

Brick by brick, the work will get done.

And word by word, the story will get written.