We walked down the cliff

Treaded carefully through the rocks

One hand holding the ridges on the left

The other swinging around to find balance

We reached that beach

The one Charlie led us to

After coves of rock

We found the one of sand

With its own little jungle of trees

Our own little world for sometime

The sun was beaming

An occasional drizzle

As per usual on the island of Kauai

We swam, we laughed

We ate mushrooms

And bumped ketamine

Asking questions

Of life at nineteen

The tide there was strong

Strong enough to scare me

The ocean never scares me

But here, the ocean felt angry

I went to her

When I found myself crying

Hiding my tear ridden face under my hat

I went to her

I asked her to help me

To take the pain away

So she grew strong and she grabbed me

And spit me out

As if to say

“Only I can hurt you,

Not him.

He can’t hurt you.”

She washed me away

And took the pain

Just to bring me back

With my heart still intact

As broken as it my feel

I know I will heal

Because I deserve happiness too

With or without him

I had it before

I can find it again after

Because I deserve that

The ocean told me so