my mother used to tell me

i have such a big heart

that i get sad because i care so much

and it’s something wonderful.

but now im here, and she’s gone

and i love and i love, and give and i give

but i never get what i give so freely in return.

perhaps it’s my own fault.

for lacking boundaries. for caring so much. for having so much love to give but not adjusting my expectations.

it’s exhausting. i’m exhausted. but i don’t know how to stop.

maybe if i accept that what im searching for and the kind of love i give

is just not something im destined to have in return.

then maybe i’ll stop pouring myself out for others

and i’ll finally learn how to keep a little for myself.