I’m tense.

On edge.

Guarded.

Worried.

Wary.

Scared.

_Terrified_.

It was never supposed to be like this.

Not with you, no.

It could be me against the world,

But you were always supposed to be at my back.

It was never supposed to be me against myself against the world against _you_.

You’re not supposed to be my enemy.

And you’re not, right?

I have nothing to fear from you.

I wanted a pride bracelet.

Just a stupid bracelet.

“Why?” you said.

“You can make it on your own.”

“Why?”

“It’d be cheaper in June.”

“Why?”

“With the economy, you shouldn’t be buying things right now.”

“Why?”

“Do you really want to use your money on something unnecessary?”

“Why?”

_“Because I like girls, and this is my ‘screw you’ to all the homophobes.”_

“But… you like boys too, right?”

And your face said more than your words of support,

Of unwavering love could ever convey.

Why did you look concerned?

**_Why did the idea of me liking only girls scare you?_**

When you found out I liked girls,

Years ago,

And you said “I’ll always support you,”

I thought you meant you were okay with it.

And maybe you are.

Maybe I’m wrong.

But you never say a thing about it.

When I tell you all my friends are homophobic,

You don’t ask if I’m okay.

You don’t ask if I need to talk.

No, if you say anything about it,

It’s to say that I’ve “gotten friendship and love confused.”

I’m not a stupid child,

Unsure of what I want,

Saying things I don’t mean.

I know what I want, and I know who I love.

I will never change.

_This_ will never change.

You raised me to be inclusive and loving,

Yet you’re uncomfortable by the idea I’m inclusive in my love.

You_ liar._

__

I feel so betrayed.