:)

(What I think every time I say I’m “fine”)

(TW mention of Selfharm and su!c!de)

You know at this point I’m ready to give up.

Imagine a world where the time goes by extremely fast yet you’re anxious about the future. You don’t even realize it’s Sunday since you just got up right? Oh wait it’s actually Monday already?! Oh I slept in till 1 pm I suppose the day is practically over. Whatever I’m gonna go play Minecraft…

Wait it’s already 6 pm? How did time go so fast? I didn’t do my laundry or shower or clean my room or-

🅄🅂🄴🄻🄴🅂🅂…🅈🄾🅄’🅁🄴 🄰 🄿🄰🅃🄷🄴🅃🄸🄲 🅆🄾🅁🅃🄷🄻🄴🅂🅂 🄿🄴🅁🅂🄾🄽. 🅆🄷🅈 🅆🄾🅄🄻🄳 🄰🄽🅈🄾🄽🄴 🄲🄰🅁🄴 🄸🄵 🅈🄾🅄 🄳🄸🄴🄳?

No…no…no no no no no no no…no…

I suppose I do deserve this…

I put this all on myself at the end of the day.

I’ll never amount to anything more than a disappointment…

ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ ʜᴜʀᴛꜱ ꜱᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ…ᴡʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇꜱ ᴍʏ ᴄʜᴇꜱᴛ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ꜱᴏ ᴛɪɢʜᴛ?

ɪ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪ’ᴍ ᴅʏɪɴɢ.

I have an amazing life yet I’m just sitting here crying over nothing…

It isn’t fair.

I wish I could be happy. That’s all I honestly want… but my brain is so corrupt I don’t think anything can heal it anymore.

Every pill I’ve token, every therapy session I went to. All the times I had panic attacks and almost passed out hyperventilating. All those times I cut my legs and arms for god knows what reason. Every time I break down crying in my room after someone even slightly raises their voice at me. All the times I’ve been told “it’s going to be okay.” Every time I’ve been told that killing myself is selfish. All the times I spent hours in the bathroom picking away my skin.

Piece by piece.

It’s consuming me.

And if nothing changes pretty soon..

There won’t be anything left to consume.

After all it’s technically a human right to end your own life.

I need to stop…

Someone please

Don’t leave me here

Rotting on the floor in my own despair.

I’m sorry.