Why.

Why, in itself is a simple question.

Yet there are so many answers that can be given to it.

So why can’t I answer my own why?

“Why is it so hard to heal?”

Thats the question.

“Why is healing from the past so hard?”

“Why can’t I just move on?”

“Why can’t I be truely happy?”

“Why do I feel good in sadness and depression?”

I. Don’t. Know. What. To. Say.

I once read a quote that somewhat answered the questions and it goes like this:

“Healing is so hard because it is a constant battle between your inner child who is scared and just wants safety… your inner teenager who is angry and just wants justice… and your current self who is tired and just wants peace.”

I felt that.

I am tired of this, I want it all over. I don’t want my pain. I need peace. Yet it is so far away. I’m tired.