We stand side by side almost touching, but not quite and the warmth of his body laying next to me at night gives me false hopes, maybe the distance we feel right now is just a passing phase, a temporary moment of disconnect that will eventually go away.

I convince myself everything is normal, couples don’t always act like their on their honey moon.

work, families and bills there’s not much room left for anything else, giving all that energy away leaves not much left for ourselves.

That’s true, he replies not looking at me as he nonchalantly disappears up the stairs.

Where he will stay for the night locking himself away from the stranger who’s waiting downstairs.

We share a house, a car on the drive, cats that run between us wondering why, why we sit in separate rooms and live separate lives.

Lonely but I shouldn’t feel alone. Unfamiliar territory that should be my home , a bed occupied by me and a man I barely know, he walks around me texting and talking on his phone, I clean around him making sure he’s got a set of clean clothes.

I feel alone.

But I guess I’m not really.

Lonely together is better than if he leaves me, right?