_*TW: dark themes*_

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_“Swallow me whole.”_ I begged. My bright, colorful room filled with nothing but dread. Door shut, thuds of loved ones before they give up. Shouting _“STOP BEING LAZY! You’re such a screw up.”_ I welk in my bed, enacting evey berufen I know so that the monsters will leave my head. Confined in my room, weighted with items of tremendous memories. Walls of posters, shelves of my favourite reads. To sink into my pillow, imagining a world so beautiful and peaceful. Rather than the words sharpened like knives and lies so distasteful. Conflicted as the good, the bad and the ugly swirl around across my ceiling. Ashamed by the relief my sleeves were always concealing.

Hidden here I wish to remain. Fading slowly as wilts my pain. Flashes from outside cause me blink but I return, back to the dismal thinking where I can only yearn. Leaning against the window adorned by rain. Watching the emptied city, washed over in disdain. Following the fall of the drops. Withering away like a corpse.

Guilt digs through me like tsunami waves tear up waterfront towns, a path of destruction left by the peaceful thrash of waves abounds. Confined to the shadows and colour of my room. Yet too engulfed by darkness to fight off the gloom. The view from up here, I pause and adore. I wish that I had noticed it before my feet stepped off the floor.

As the rope tightens around my neck, confining my breath. This was when I welcomed death.

LLK.

-not personal just something I came up with-