This is home But why has it changed? Have I been away too long? How has this feeling remained?

This is home A place I left, but came back too An invisible sting, drew me back Oh how I’ve missed this view

But now my home is broken in two Where I should be and where I ran too I belong to both but to neither fully A place of dreams, and the place I grew

The city or the town my home But which to choose, in which to stay? Have I been away too long? I ask my self that everyday

Lingering on what ifs Had I never left Where would I be today? Would I feel this bereft?

One is my home One an involuntary move Forever my birthplace to roam But how from the other myself to remove?

LLK.

I’m upside down The world is spinning But why are all the creatures grinning?

I’m upside down Why can’t I stop? Tell me when the other shoe will drop

I’m upside down Oh no, not again It’ll all calm down, but tell me when?

I’m upside down I can’t do it anymore My head is getting light, and now it’s sore

I’m still upside down But when will I fall? Oh how I wish I could stand proud and tall

Will I forever be upside down? Or will I fall and eventually drown?

Will I be right side up ever again? And when I stop spinning what then?

I know others who spend time upside down too They’ve taught me things I never knew

So I am upside down these days also But it’s not so bad and so

When I am upside down now I turn right side up, I know how

LLK.

Another year, another cake They see me wish, my smile fake I fear getting older Glancing over my shoulder Petrified of memories I’ll lose They sing cheerfully, my ears hear the blues So I scrapbook, write it all down Never knowing to stop, look around By fearing losing moments I miss the rainbow, ignore the poets They say life is short, so savour it Haunted by forgetting, too absent to admit I’m not really living, I’m racing through I’m now forgetting to pause, take in the view Before I know it, a year had come and gone Didn’t have a chance to breathe in the dawn So as I blow out the candles this year Making my wish, I ignore the fear Now I live memories worth re-living I remember them more, a new beginning

LLK.

Hidden in the trees, cement stones litter The silence perturbs, the nightlife titter Visits in the dark, the dread beckons Wandering endless rows, searching sections

Beyond the rust clad gate, wind swirls Branches yearn for contact, shadows cast the burls You linger a moment, words you can never find A soul to tether to the mortal plain, our momentary bind

Your eyes trace the letteres carved, so in form Wincing at the flashes, the rattle of the arriving storm To remember a life lost, why can’t you recall How did you end up here tonight at all?

You’d visited her just a while ago, was it today? Testament are the flowers you layed, not yet withered away You stood here, how long did you stay? Echoing like a perpetual day

You walked out the gate, you remember that much Yet again at her solace you stand, you turn in a hunch As you repeat your familiar parting words A glimpse of something, mellowed by overhead birds

Tracing the words, in form as the ones you had grow used to reading The storm subsided as did shallow your breathing Look away then back, the neighbouring grave, your name carved in stone How? Ligering question as you inch closer to reread, the idea to disown

Could it be true, that you never made it home? You had walked out, bright lights, now here you roam Your friend gone long before, a you just moments ago No need to stop to wonder, now what comes next you know

You could no longer feel the rain, but watch it you still do A friend taken and the one left behind, side by side forever are you two Your eyes only linger for a moment more No longer bound to the world of mundane you have no more need for

Forget what wastes away below because Lingering on what was has no cause You’re on new plains now, with intent to explore these Even the dead tell stories

LLK.

aware that this is not exactly pertinent to the horror/thriller genre but I wanted to write a peaceful yet dark poem with a slight twisted conclusion. So basically I started writing about the peace of graveyards but without obviously stating it was infact a graveyard and the VOP (voice of poem) is routinely visiting a friends grave, when they see their own name on the stone right beside, they come to the realisation that they too have died and rather than linger on what now decays underground they see opportunity to reunite with their friend and see new things.

TW: dark themes __ __ __ __ “Swallow me whole.” I begged. My bright, colorful room filled with nothing but dread. Door shut, thuds of loved ones before they give up. Shouting “STOP BEING LAZY! You’re such a screw up.” I welk in my bed, enacting evey berufen I know so that the monsters will leave my head. Confined in my room, weighted with items of tremendous memories. Walls of posters, shelves of my favourite reads. To sink into my pillow, imagining a world so beautiful and peaceful. Rather than the words sharpened like knives and lies so distasteful. Conflicted as the good, the bad and the ugly swirl around across my ceiling. Ashamed by the relief my sleeves were always concealing.

Hidden here I wish to remain. Fading slowly as wilts my pain. Flashes from outside cause me blink but I return, back to the dismal thinking where I can only yearn. Leaning against the window adorned by rain. Watching the emptied city, washed over in disdain. Following the fall of the drops. Withering away like a corpse.

Guilt digs through me like tsunami waves tear up waterfront towns, a path of destruction left by the peaceful thrash of waves abounds. Confined to the shadows and colour of my room. Yet too engulfed by darkness to fight off the gloom. The view from up here, I pause and adore. I wish that I had noticed it before my feet stepped off the floor.

As the rope tightens around my neck, confining my breath. This was when I welcomed death.

LLK.

-not personal just something I came up with-

If I count the ways I love you No number big enough to go up to I’d run out of fingers to count on Need the future to have come and gone

I see you in the glow of the sunrise And in the warmth of the sunset skies I feel you in the comfort of our song I dream of the arms in which I belong

I hear you in the silence, your voice calm and free Your laughter echoes worlds around me I love you when you’re here, miss you when you’re not How thankful I am that I shot my shot

I love your smile, and the way you squint when you wake up I cherish the glisten in your eyes as I hand you a warm cup So counting the ways I love you seems pointless To say I love you is too small to truly express

How I love your shimmering hair flowing in the sun How I can’t believe a girl so perfect can be so fun How I adore the warmth of your touch, the comfort of your embrace How I could forever stare at the flushed cheeks of your face

I counted a few To count them all would take days to get through More like years or decades to list all the ways It would take some kind of lavender haze For time to stop, and Neverland to be real too Just so I could count all the ways I love you

LLK.

You didn’t see me breaking

Breaking down Breaking free Breaking through Breaking my back for you

Now you get to see me breaking

Breaking up Breaking hearts Breaking records Breaking a smile Breaking you

Breaking made me Breaking finally broke you

Aren’t you glad I was okay with you breaking Breaking me?

LLK.

I screamed so loud, their voices echo while I’m sleeping When I heard the secrets they were keeping Fading in conversation to hear them screech Searing my insides like a glass of bleach

Whispering reminders of failures in my past Rain on my parade, laying waste to a sunny forecast Doing anything to escape the internal riot The curse of having a mind that won’t keep quiet

Avoiding thoughts of mine like landmines As the vultures try to escape the four wall confines Waking every morning, never ready for the war They get louder the more and more I try to ignore

Don’t know which side the voice is on Their secret is that neither I wish them gone Their swarm killing but the silence more deafening I need them there even if I’m always beckoning

Happy the day we can say we survived the great war Not knowing a second one is coming, only worse than the one before

LLK.

Happy Birthday! They sing Delicious cake The candles lit Only now my wish

It’s been a great day So many gifts Eaten so much cake Laughter

The flames flicker They cheer I wish this moment could last Forever

I dig in Slice by slice Till it’s all gone The plate empty

Happy Birthday! They sing… Another cake The candles lit

I dig in Slice by slice Till it’s all gone The plate empty

No more! I can’t!

Happy Birthday! They sing… Another cake The candles lit

I dig in

Why did I make that wish?

LLK.

---

I don’t now if this is really that scary, but I was going for a psychological kind of horror, that warns you to be careful with what you wish for on your birthday, as here wishing to relive the joy of a birthday is sinisterly twisted into having to repeat that exact moment over and over, stuck eating cake unwillingly and being sung happy birthday on repeat. Some kind of insanity.

KNOCK KNOCK

The echos louder My door rattles

KNOCK BANG

They’re going to get in There’s nothing I can do

BANG BANG

They’ve stopped knocking Now they’re banging They’re getting angry

But.

I’m frozen I can’t move Glued.

Tense a muscle I can’t Move a limb I can’t Scream I’ve tried

Shallow breaths Shiver and sweat

Wait.

Silence.

The bang has stopped Maybe they gave up Am I safe?

CLICK

Oh no! They stopped knocking and banging They’ve found the key

CLICK CLICK

You’d imagine what’s behind the door A killer wielding a knife or a monster A demon or evil ghost

But.

All that’s behind that door Knows me, and knows me well That’s why they have the key Why I’m frozen to my bed

The locks clicking Dreading the creak of the door

They come at night I can never escape them In the dark In the eerie silence

The final CLICK

Then… CREAK

They’re in Invisible shadows Cold air

They invade my mind Crawl under my skin

My thoughts. Haunting memories. Fears. My failures.

All visit me each night Like a storm of reminders I’ve made mistakes I’ve failed My life wasted

Their cruel words continue Until I either

Fall asleep Or morning comes

LLK.

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I’m trying a new approach to poem writing here, not sure if it was effective.