My morning routine always brings me here

I need to get an americano to get me focused

As I stand in line, the lady in front of me starts yelling

Was she here the whole time?

Or did I simply not notice the stench of alcohol until now

She seems confused, lost, desperate

She looks around the coffee shop, and eventually her gaze meets mine

I know this woman

But not like this

Someone from my past

A lover in fact

The very first

It was together that we discovered our bodies and the importance of intimacy

Sneaking out of our homes to be with one another

Cheering each other on at sporting events

And staying up countless nights talking on the phone

The first person I might have truly loved

We even made a pact

That if by Thirty, we’re still single, we must get married

Thirty has come and gone

I’m still single

I recognize her eyes, but the scars on her face tell a different tale

Those eyes, captivating as always

But they now bear a pain that came after me

Twenty years can do a lot

For better, for worse

I stop the music playing in my ears

I begin to open my mouth and acknowledge our history

But she beats me to it

“Excuse me sir, do you have any change?”

I’m caught off guard

I fumble for my wallet and extract a few bucks

Her eyes immediately break mine and fixate on the money

“Thanks.”

She snatches the money from my hand and walks towards the exit

Out the door

Back on the streets

Twenty years can do a lot

For better, for worse