The relationship I held with my mother was practically nonexistent. The only thing that women had ever done for me was give birth, and that is no longer an exergation.

My mother was on her deathbed, dying from some form of cancer. Doctors said there was absolutely nothing they could do and they were just going to have to wait for her time to end, nothing could take her out except for the act of waiting.

My dad had forced me to sit in there with them, it was just the three of us. My dad and I were a lot closer, even though he was quite like my mother. Her actions had led to the closeness of my father and I. They were strict, but she was borderline abusive. She had banned me from going to see my grandmother, then when she died I was not allowed to go to the funeral. I don’t know where she was buried.

She held a lot of useless rules. Her favorite was the food rule. She would lock all of the cabinets and food storage areas all day. She would unlock them for fifteen minutes around four everyday, and even then she would stand watch to see what I would take, according to my takens would go back to our dinner. Was I more hungry and grabbed more snacks? Dinner would be a couple pieces of fruit.

Dad didn’t agree with her rules, he thought they were a bit too strict, but he would never say anything to her. Even when I was younger, my mother was sick. So between my dad and I, we agreed to let her rule, to make her feel better. The older we got, the sicker she was, the more control she had over us.

Back to her deathbed. She laid there for days. On her final, before we had known, dad went downstairs to make a work call. I stayed in the room just playing with my phone, but I heard her call for me.

I stood up and looked over her lifeless body. “My rules will continue to be followed in my house, so you understand?”

I remember that statement so vividly. Because I never answered her back, I just stared into her eyes. Seconds later she was collapsing, she couldn’t breathe and the machine was going out of control. The doctors ran in, surrounding both me and her as they tried to do anything to save her. I believe that her last memory was me, standing victorious as she took her last breaths.