today felt no different

i woke with my nervous system fully engaged

assessing the dream i had asked god

whom i do not follow

to give me while I slept

repeating a lost prayer

god

jesus

i haven’t followed you in a long time

i understand if you don’t listen

i recognize why you wouldn’t answer

the deafining cry of my thoughts

but please can you show me a sign

throw it in my face

make it obvious

what do i

need to

do

i kept recalling

clasped my dog’s harness

his leash

and heard music outside my window

7am, warm, saturday

no different.

waking like a lawn mower pulled to start,

that’s normal

right?

assessing a dream a prayed for

from a god i almost don’t believe in…

normal, right?

finding a young man

slumped over

someone’s son

music turned all the way up,

someone’s brother

i can’t let him be alone.

I’m here.

Call 911.

I’m going to feel for your pulse.

Can you hear me?

Yes, operator, he’s breathing. Just barely.

Heart rate is slow.

Baby, I’m here, I don’t know you.

But you’re going to be safe.

I’m going to lay you back in your seat,

And I’m going to turn you on your side.

Yes ma’am , there are drugs in the car.

Honey, if you can hear me,

I’m here and I will help you until the paramedics can get here.

Stay with me.

It’s going to be okay.

Yes, operator, but his pulse is slowing.

today felt no different

until i saw that something

maybe god

listened