The ducks didn’t return to the lake after the storm. The color has drained. I should’ve known better. Maybe I did know what I was walking into. I knew it was a trap. I figured if I was trapped, daily decisions would be taken out of my hands. I thought he was there to save me. He wasn’t. He didn’t want to save me. He wanted to be God. He wanted to be the only one I knew. He wanted to peal apart every piece of my body. He wanted to hold my dry bones in his hands. I regret every time I found myself irritated in the presence of loved ones. My living body resides between four grey, blood-crusted walls. I can’t go home. **I want to go home.**