I thought it wasn’t dangerous.

Our interactions were all online.

I didn’t imagine him as a real person.

This is real though.

I never knew I had ringing in my ears till now. I suppose I made an effort to never be in silence. I can hear my tongue clicking in my dry mouth.

Every time I think I hear someone coming down to the basement, my stomach tightens and I stop breathing.

I thought the stori...

Marx,

Hey. Everything is going to be okay.

I know. I know you’re trying.

Some people need a little more time.

There’s nothing wrong with you.

I’m sorry for how poorly I treated you.

You didn’t deserve to be put through that.

You persevered.

Now Marx. Listen to me.

Something is going to happen that will change your mind for years to come.

Kids make mistakes.

Yeah, you definitely knew better....

What if someone is standing outside my window waiting to see the light turn off through the blinds?

What if my teeth come out while I’m sleeping and I swallow them?

My mouth tastes disgusting-that’s what happens when you don’t brush your teeth.

Please go away.

I don’t think you understand how happy I would be if that…nevermind.

My teeth hurt.

If I solve this problem I’ll go away for a long t...

My fingers adjust on the wooden handle.

My breath hitches but is hot.

I will not tolerate a life I do not deserve!

I won’t let you take it from me.

Nobody will care about your disappearance.

They’ll say a quick, “oh, what a shame,” and move on.

Inconsiderate people take up space that’s needed. You’re a waste.

If you didn’t want the job, you shouldn’t have taken the **fucking** job.

Now peopl...

Some people crave nicotine.

Others, tabacco.

Fruit.

Hot wings.

I crave intimacy.

Not sex.

I crave my fingers digging into your open stomach.

I can taste it—smell it.

I wonder, will the warmth of your blood comfort me?

It’s beautiful, how alike we are.

I can’t stand how fucking shallow our generation is.

Let me show you what love is.

Let me show you how much I’ve devoted myself to you. It’s not...

The ducks didn’t return to the lake after the storm.

The color has drained.

I should’ve known better.

Maybe I did know what I was walking into.

I knew it was a trap.

I figured if I was trapped, daily decisions would be taken out of my hands.

I thought he was there to save me.

He wasn’t.

He didn’t want to save me.

He wanted to be God.

He wanted to be the only one I knew.

He wanted to peal apar...

The man donates to charity, how could he be corrupted?

He’s an inventor.

He’s a creative young soul.

He’s just a kid.

What damage could he do?

Who cares if homes are being destroyed?

We love him. We love his company. We love his products. He’s making us happy.

**I need this product to be happy.**

I didn’t know. It’s not my fault.

Let’s all blame the man for blinding us.

The man is resp...

They told us on day one to never walk home alone. They told us to bring a friend or ask security to walk you. I didn’t care much for company.

They told us to keep our books in our bag and keep our hands free incase we needed to drop our stuff and run. I never wanted to put my favorite books in my backpack. I didn’t want to damage them.

I’ve walked from the library to my dorm, night after night. ...

October 8th, 2007.

Respiratory Rate: 25

Heart Rate: 103

^ignore that

Note to self: green is your color

My nurse brought me a new movie to watch. I still use that portable DVD player he got me for Christmas. I think I wrote about that already, I don’t know. Anyway, the movie is _O Brother, Where Art Thou?_

I’m sure Jeremy will read this when I’m gone.

Hi Jeremy, I love you terribly.

Don’t chec...

‼️Content Warning: su!cide, vomit, stabbing.‼️

**_The national suicide hotline number is 988._**

Hope is real. Help is real.

**You are important.**

—

My key still fit the lock.

I’m surprised he didn’t change the lock.

As soon as I stepped into the foyer, I felt like I was 13 again. The foyer has a bookshelf full of dusty books and random objects that I discarded there years ago.

This place loo...