“You see that lady over there?” Jan pointed out an elegantly dressed woman with immaculately manicured nails sitting under an umbrella at the cafe we were at. It was an exceptionally hot day and I was glad we managed to get a table indoors where there was air-conditioning.

The lady outdoors was chatting animatedly with two girlfriends and all three of them gave the impression that they were once the popular kids at school. They were studded with branded accessories from head to toe - Hermès, Chanel, Prada were just few of the bigs names I spotted. “Of course, birds of a feather....” I thought. “What about her?” I asked Jan expecting her to tell me that she was some celebrity or famous person that I ought to know.

“She used to be my friend’s brother, Harry” she replied. I looked at Jan blankly and it took a while before it dawned upon me what she meant. I studied the lady’s face and physique again. I would never have been able to tell she was once a man. Her features looked so delicate and there was no indication of an Adam’s apple.

Jan told me how Harry had always known he was a girl at heart. Growing up, his Asian parents never encouraged nor acknowledged his feminine fantasies. They bought him stereotypical masculine toys and dressed him in blue. Harry had never fit in but he didn’t even try to. He was most himself when in his sister’s dresses and mother’s stilettos. When his teachers asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, much to their discomfort, he always unflinchingly replied “a lady”. The moment he turned 21, Harry arranged for his transgender rebirth in Thailand. In the nine months he was gone Harry had multiple surgeries to transition into Harriet.

Harriet’s return brought great discomfort and shame to her parents. Her transformation was too radical for them to come to terms with. Being their only son, they had hoped to see him carry their family name. Harriet’s sister on the other hand embraced the change and made her the maid of honor at her wedding.

Long after Harriet and her friends had left, Jan and I continued talking about her. Her courage in the face of the conservative society we lived in was something to be greatly admired. “To Harriet, for the challenges she went through to stay authentic to herself” I said as Jan and I clinked our glasses of cold water.