Things are different.

Not bad, or better,

just different.

It’s not that I’m indifferent.

Far from it, to be honest.

But I can’t say that I always think about it.

But when I do,

think about it that is,

I do wish that things were different,

I wonder what you are doing.

or even what you look like now.

And I wonder why.

Why did you do the things you did?

And why do I feel that they were wrong,

if no one else understands what I have done?

I can’t believe how long it has been.

It hasn’t been easy for me,

and I have no idea what it’s been like for you.

Your messages seem to tell me

all that I need to know.

But I hope that I’m wrong about that too.

And to be honest things aren’t so bad now,

but I’ve got a long way to go.

Maybe I wouldn’t have as far to go,

if you had been different.

So while I do want to message you back

and try and make things different,

to make them how they used to be.

I’m not sure that I’m able to right now,

because it will take a lot for me to do.

Because now things are different.