I hated this but I need it gone.

How someone I held dear to me ruined our relationship.

….

You held me up and put me on a pedestal,

Thinking this was love.

You thought me somehow celestial.

You put me above your needs,

Why the fuck would you call this love.

Whatever I did was on something you would feed.

You saw me fall,

you were responsible for this twist in the arrow.

I tried to be free but that wasn’t my call.

You destroyed all the good by disrespecting our foundation,

you hurt yourself when I bled.

Why would you have this notion.

You never saw us as equals.

We never believed at the same pace,

And you had the gall to try and rebuild me after the 15 years of loathing I had before.

Who the fuck is going to rebuild me…

But fucking me…

“Patience”, you said.

In the end we both hurt because I couldn’t give the love you projected on me.

“Because I wasn’t ready” I said

You didn’t hear this,

And we both sunk

And this my dear is Carthasis.

….

This may trigger some people, idolising someone thinking this will repair and replace 15 years worth of guilt and loathing aint going to work is it and acting like a child the second I fall apart.