I’m mad.

Anger boils under my skin as I shove the screen door out of my way.

My eyes shake and my teeth clench as my legs start moving away from home faster and faster.

Vaguely I hear voices shout my name, but I need to get away.

I was born with my red hot temper, but it’s been suppressed for years. I listened to the commands to behave and smile when I was younger, but then the commands became much more toxic. The commands turned to control. They needed to place my life in their perfect mold.

Somewhere along the way they forgot it was my life. They forgot that I had my own thoughts and dreams, hopes and loves. Each demand and critique was another drop in the ocean of bitterness brewing deep inside of me. The tidal wave had been coming for a while and no one was going to stop it when it came.

The wind picked up and whipped my hair and clothes violently. It tried to cool my rage but only intensified my wild fury. I broke out into a full run down into a field I often visited in the past. The wind drowned everything out, but my thoughts were screaming.

**_“Don’t they know that I can leave? Don’t they know my presence isn’t guaranteed? Haven’t they noticed everything that I have sacrificed for their sake?”

_**At the base of an old and expansive oak, I crashed down on my knees. My breath was gone and my heart hammered in my ears. My thoughts sped faster and faster as the air turned colder. Soon I screamed up into whatever universe I had been placed in. It was feral, like the sound of an animal in pain. Words failed me, and the pain in my chest was indescribable.

**_

_****_Did they even love me?

_**I had always tried my best, but my best wasn’t enough. It took me 18 years to figure that I would never be what they wanted me to be.

**_

_**Anger only goes so far though. The loneliness and hurt settled in quickly after. My stomach emptied its contents and then I curled up in a ball at the base of my tree. Tears fell until my body had no more to give. My breathing shuddered in sporadic sobs.

Then the rain split the sky and fell down in heavy sheets. I wanted the rain to wash me away. But the rain remained steady as thunder rolled in the distance. It was the warm kind of summer rain that I have always loved so much. My breathing slowed as I was soaked to the bone.

**_

_**The storm lasted 20 minutes before the heat of the sun returned to me. The world remained silent, and my thoughts were finally quiet as well.

Everything always looked better after a good summer storm.**_

_**