as jeremiah opens the door to his apartment, he is meet with the worst thing imaginable. the screams of the damned, the prances of devils, a hell fire to reign for all eternity.

“why the fuck is there a bird in here?”

the two, three, agents of chaos causing this public nuisance were none other than his roommates, micheal and matt. two peas in a pod who practically share two and half brain cells on a good day. matt, the smaller of the two, was standing on a chair holding a spatula and cowering in fear as a pigeon, yes a fucking pigeon, swooped over his head. like he was trying to inspect wether it would be a proper nest. micheal was to the right of him, hold his phone and eating this shit up. he stands next to the kitchen, which currently has a pot over boiling and some sort of now indescribable dish burning.

even though jeremiah had entered, the two failed to notice. matt continued to scream.

“BRO GET IT AWAY FROM ME!” he let out a scream in agony as he swatted the bird away from his precious locks.

“oh my god chill. this is good content. you could become a meme.”

“oh HELL NO YOU FUCKER.”

“do you want my help?” jeremiah asked tentatively. he didn’t want to distracted matt. the last thing this group needed was to be kicked out because they let a bird loose in the apartment complex.

“oh jeremiah, my savior!” cried matt “you must save me from this wretched creature!”

“you talking about micheal or the bird?” camera man micheal flipped him off silently but still got it in view of the camera.

“THE BIRD OBVIOUSLY!” the bird made another swipe at his curls, it talons grazing his head.

“ok, ok, i got you.”

jeremiah reached up onto the chair matt was standing on and soothed the bird. he took it into his arms despite its anger. but it subsided as it was let out the open window. matt and micheal were now on either side of him as he stood there.

“how do you do that man?” matt asked in amazement as he touched his head, checking to see if his tediously styled hair was still where it should be.

“yeah man, you could have decided to be a vet or some shit with that power of yours.” micheal commented.

“what can i say? i’m the mediator of the group.”