I sit beside the hospital bed, holding her hand tightly because I’m scared if I let go it will be for eternity and I can’t bear losing her all over again. I feel her fingers rummaging around in my grip as she is trying to make me lose it so that she can fall back into her deep slumber. I hear a weak fragile voice saying hello and I look at her face. Her eyes are wide open staring into mine like she is trying to know me again. “Viola,” I say her name while she moves her hand away from mine, looking at me with confusion. Her eyebrows are furrowed. “It’s me, Lucas,” I introduce myself but she remains quiet while the doctor enters the room and his footsteps are echoing in the silence that this room is submerged under.

“Good morning,” the doctor says as he walks towards me. When he is standing next to me, he has a hand on my shoulder as if he is about to reveal some bad news. My eyes are transfixed onto him as he remains silent. “Viola, do you remember anything at all before the crash?” He asks a simple question but something so simple could easily break me.

“My name,” she says weakly as she tries to sit up straight but struggles.

“Which is?” The doctor prompts her to speak so that she can regain her true self.

“Viola Mary Harris. I’m 23?”

“Do you recognise the man sitting next to you?” He asks and I can’t look at her scared of what her response is. “You don’t. Over the next few days, people will help you to regain your memory. But it is so great to see you awake again. I’ll come back later.” The doctor leaves me and Viola in this hospital room.

I turn to face her, trying to piece together on what brought us here. It’s my fault as my drunk self decided to drive. _She could’ve died. _It’s my fault she no longer recognises me, but I don’t recognise her either. Surely, she could’ve remembered us, what we had but no. Not a single fragment of memory crosses her mind, and somehow I am the one asking her, “who are you?”

“I’m Viola Harris,” she says but those are the words I didn’t want to fall from her mouth. I wanted her to say that she is the love of my life and not a stranger that I have to win over again.

“Good morning, more like bad morning because you have just broken my heart,” I say getting up from the chair beside her hospital bed because I want to leave. I was holding onto her hand and those words of her is making me lose her all over again. I start to walk away with my head bowing to the floor, so that I can focus on crying to myself.

“Please,” Viola says behind me as if she is wanting me to stay but I can’t. I can’t be in a room with someone that now considers me as a stranger. I walk away as my heart continues to shatter into pieces and my blood splatters everywhere because I am made of glass. Once broken, I leave shards of my heart around hoping that it shall kill someone else. This time, I’m hoping a shard kills Viola as I can’t live a life where I have to remake every memory, retell stories, redo every fight and argument, and kissing lips that no longer tastes like strawberries. Strawberries were my favourite fruit, but now it’s lemon.