Definition of Belonging: an affinity for a place or situation

Tides of life cascade into one And falling becomes a cycle I am thrown in between From home to alone From friends to none From love to hate And then I fall again Tides of belonging disappear There is no place, no person, no situation Everything becomes a blur While I fall continuously Closing my eyes so easily That falling becomes my favourite thing

There’s a candle in front of me that is burning bright But the stick is melting away in just a few seconds Loving someone at a distance hurts since they don’t know The feelings that surround a heart burning like stars It’s making me melt as the feelings are suffocating I need air to breathe, I need air to let a fire burn How can I survive a night without oxygen? But this candle in front of me is staying strong

Blurb:

Thalia wants someone for life and it is hard for her to find the one. When she meets Ronnie, he fits every standard and expectation making her fall in love believing that he is the one for her. However she doesn’t know the man behind the mask Ronnie holds which is maybe best kept a secret. Will chasing after the one end up in heartbreak and disaster?

Dedication: For the girls who are still looking for love. One day love will come to you, so don’t chase after it.

Cold nights arrive once more upon wishing for a new year

Fireworks of love explode the sky into crimsons and pinks

Birds start to chirp, flowers bloom, and lambs are born

Sunshine peers through the grey clouds, oh what happiness

Walking up mountains where there’s a sight of beautiful skies

The days start to last longer and finally better weather

Sun beats down heating up every path and obstacle

August comes, and the lions gate portal opens

And remind me when September ends so i can wake up

Leaves fall from the trees and flowers die

Rain echoes on the rooftop above my head

Winter crawls back into my life and there is snow.

No one knows what lurks underneath the waves so no one dares to tread upon the ocean, where water threatens to swirl around you to make you drown. However, today I am one of four people taking a look to discover what lurks underneath. I look ahead into the horizon to make me forget this as suddenly I realise the terror I signed myself up for. _I could die. _I stare to make this moment pass, but I am being shaked by a stranger who’s taking me back to face the ocean. How am I supposed to face the ocean, when I can’t even face my enemy? __

“Are you all ready?” One of the strangers asks me while the others look at the nervousness I am in. My fingers tremble and my legs are quite jittery. _No, I want to leave. I want to go home. _ __ __ “Yes,” I say getting up from the seat while I take a deep breath to motivate myself to dive into the ocean, into the unknown. I close my eyes while I count to ten. _One, two, three, four, fiv- _splash. I hear a cascade of water leap into the air and a drop falls onto skin that isn’t covered by a wet suit which melts. The salt, however, stays there lingering like a nightmare. _Just breathe. Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. _

There is silence. I can’t hear any ripples forming in the salt water, nor screams or any living thing out here. It is the first time that I am noticing that there are no birds flying above, no chirps. I turn to look at the water, and all I see is my reflection. I look at myself and know _little me would be so proud. _So I took the jump into the ocean, into the unknown.

The water surrounds me, but instead of swallowing me I am floating among the waves like we are friends. I smile thinking that this isn’t so bad as there is peace here. Listening to the sounds of waves crashing makes me feel less at ease and the tension rots away making my body so lifeless that I could stay like this forever.

Although, I see something glittering beneath me - a glow of the ocean - which is intriguing as I make sure the mask is fully on before I go deeper. I swim further below and the water just travels past me like friends do - kissing my skin. The glow grows brighter and when I reach it, I look carefully at the thing. It has the same dents, same shape and same glow a diamond has. I pick it up with my bare hands and it also feels like a diamond, a little rough and cold.

The unknown of the ocean is making me discover what this truly is, as my eyes gaze upon the beauty it holds. _Surely it isn’t a diamond, _a diamond can’t be here underneath the ocean but then again no one knows what lurks underneath here. The ocean is full of mysteries, and I determined to discover every one. Now, I look to a future where my name is seen everywhere on books, screens, and memoirs dedicated to me. The name Viola Hewitt will be seen, and maybe it will help me face my enemy: time.

MONDAY: Ella has to wake up when the sun beams through her curtains, The rays escape through the thin material, where she squints her eyes, But moans as she is annoyed that it is another day in the office.

TUESDAY: Terrance is making coffee to keep him awake Wondering if he could survive the second day at his first job. He thinks he’s making a good impression, but actually no one knows him.

WEDNESDAY: Ella is running before she leaves to take the train into work She does so to keep herself alive and not break apart. Ella wishes for the other days to blur in each other, and relax.

THURSDAY: Terrance feels jittery just for five more minutes, The doors are soon opening for a new opportunity. However, his excitement fails as five minutes turn into hours.

FRIDAY: Ella wakes up with a smile on her face: “Tonight I can drink my sorrows away!” Later in the evening she downs a glass of vodka while listening to music, That jolts around in her house almost waking up the neighbours.

SATURDAY: Terrance is up at eight am thinking his alarm went off and slept through. He was scared to miss work until he checked the date, a Saturday. Then he closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

SUNDAY: They both rest and do nothing. Absolutely nothing. But Terrance sends Ella a message: do you want to meet up? Ella responds saying: yes, I need to become sane again. So they meet up to have a Sunday dinner at a nice restaurant. But it isn’t like any other Sunday, as Terrance proposes to Ella. She says yes of course, and for life on every Sunday; They rest and do nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Crystals floated around her and her skin sparkled in the light. I could see diamond tears covering her cheeks; she knew as well as I did that we wouldn’t survive this. The refractions hadn’t been in our favour this time, nor the stars up in the sky that shine bright. There’s no hope in surviving a world that has been broken by chemicals in the atmosphere, turning everything to stone what it touches upon.

I touch her cheeks to wipe away her tears, as if I am telling her, _this isn’t the end. _“Just close your eyes,” I say and this time she doesn’t question, she does it because there are only mere moments left. “What do you see?”

“There’s you,” Ella says, “and me dancing in the rain. It’s dark outside, and there’s a full moon.”

“What do you feel?” I ask.

“Happy,” she replies and there is a smile creeping upon her face before she opens her eyes once again. They are filled with diamonds, daggers that will suddenly fall against her will and it will hurt. “I won’t be feeling that again.”

“You will.”

“How’d you know?” I don’t, I’m just pretending so that you can feel rested before the world consumes us in the darkness and the rumble. __ __ “I’m looking into a crystal and it shows a better future. We’re married, we have kids, a mansion with the library you have always wanted.” I say the things she wants to hear, hoping that it’s doing the job of calming her down.

She touches my hand that still remains on her cheek, and it’s electric. The diamonds and crystals shine around us like we have defeated it - the invasion of sparkles. But really they soak through our skin, dissolving into our blood system taking us to the underworld. This is our last moment, our last breath. Then I kiss her, as the last taste upon my lips. They taste of cherry and suddenly she stops.

I watch as the diamonds and crystals take her away from me. My greatest enemy. They surround her as they lift her into the sky; I couldn’t help myself but cry. These tears are also made of diamonds, they dig into my sensitive face leaving wounds to remind me of the invasion of sparkles, and how they took everything from me.

Swinging up above the war stricken ground She stares into the horizon at the fog, Which is covering up every inch of the city. Taking the beauty from the sunset, And the view from before her eyes.

Looking out in a window to someplace new, It isn’t New York as she knows it The Empire state burned down And it’s remains have fallen where others stumble In shock that a city has collapsed.

There is a tear falling from her left eye, As home has broken into pieces, She can hardly call it her favourite place. But she is forced to swing above the ruins, Watching the memories flood past her eyes.

Remembering what New York used to be, A bustling city filled with such happiness All of it has disappeared within a blink But she does, closes her eyes for a second To think of the city alive and not deserted

There is no longer sounds of car horns, No longer screams or birds chirping. New York has become a haven for danger. What lurks beneath her feet, Is a city in ruins.

High above the city, she thinks. What this place used to be.

I want to know what we are. Friends or more than that? I know that you’re suspicious about my feelings. But here I want to say that it’s true: I do love you. However, there’s one uncertainty, I think that you like me back the same Although I think you consider me as a stranger Meaning you can easily walk through me As if I am invisible to your eye.

I want to know what you feel about me Friends or just strangers? I dream of scenarios which helps me fall asleep. And only two people know that I do love you. However, do your friends know? I see them stare at me through the school day Although they could be looking behind me Meaning I’m irrelevant to your conversations As if I don’t belong in your life.

After three conversations I have made songs about us And I am writing this letter directly to you But I’m not going to deliver this Since there is no need to. However, we haven’t talked in awhile I feel like we should catch up and. Kiss. Although, I could be so delulu about this Meaning you don’t want anything to do with me As if I am just a stranger.

But I want to be more than that. Could we be more than that?

I sit beside the hospital bed, holding her hand tightly because I’m scared if I let go it will be for eternity and I can’t bear losing her all over again. I feel her fingers rummaging around in my grip as she is trying to make me lose it so that she can fall back into her deep slumber. I hear a weak fragile voice saying hello and I look at her face. Her eyes are wide open staring into mine like she is trying to know me again. “Viola,” I say her name while she moves her hand away from mine, looking at me with confusion. Her eyebrows are furrowed. “It’s me, Lucas,” I introduce myself but she remains quiet while the doctor enters the room and his footsteps are echoing in the silence that this room is submerged under.

“Good morning,” the doctor says as he walks towards me. When he is standing next to me, he has a hand on my shoulder as if he is about to reveal some bad news. My eyes are transfixed onto him as he remains silent. “Viola, do you remember anything at all before the crash?” He asks a simple question but something so simple could easily break me.

“My name,” she says weakly as she tries to sit up straight but struggles.

“Which is?” The doctor prompts her to speak so that she can regain her true self.

“Viola Mary Harris. I’m 23?”

“Do you recognise the man sitting next to you?” He asks and I can’t look at her scared of what her response is. “You don’t. Over the next few days, people will help you to regain your memory. But it is so great to see you awake again. I’ll come back later.” The doctor leaves me and Viola in this hospital room.

I turn to face her, trying to piece together on what brought us here. It’s my fault as my drunk self decided to drive. _She could’ve died. _It’s my fault she no longer recognises me, but I don’t recognise her either. Surely, she could’ve remembered us, what we had but no. Not a single fragment of memory crosses her mind, and somehow I am the one asking her, “who are you?”

“I’m Viola Harris,” she says but those are the words I didn’t want to fall from her mouth. I wanted her to say that she is the love of my life and not a stranger that I have to win over again.

“Good morning, more like bad morning because you have just broken my heart,” I say getting up from the chair beside her hospital bed because I want to leave. I was holding onto her hand and those words of her is making me lose her all over again. I start to walk away with my head bowing to the floor, so that I can focus on crying to myself.

“Please,” Viola says behind me as if she is wanting me to stay but I can’t. I can’t be in a room with someone that now considers me as a stranger. I walk away as my heart continues to shatter into pieces and my blood splatters everywhere because I am made of glass. Once broken, I leave shards of my heart around hoping that it shall kill someone else. This time, I’m hoping a shard kills Viola as I can’t live a life where I have to remake every memory, retell stories, redo every fight and argument, and kissing lips that no longer tastes like strawberries. Strawberries were my favourite fruit, but now it’s lemon.