“Can you turn the radio up? Just for this song? It’s good I promise,” I plead with mommy.

Mommy turns the song up and I start singing along, and waving my hand outside the window to the guitar. We’re having the best day today, I love Saturdays! Sometimes I like staying home and watching cartoons, but today we went to the park and got ice cream. I watch out at the window as the song blares through the radio, and see myself riding a horse alongside the car. Then a guardrail props up, so I see myself roller blading on it, doing flips and jumps along with the beat. The song ends and mommy turns the radio back down, but I don’t care. I let my imagination run wild a little longer, humming along to a new song playing in my head as I opt for a skateboard along the guardrail now. Soon, the sun is starting to set on a perfect day as we pull into the driveway.

I debate pretending to be asleep so mommy can carry me inside, but I think she saw me with my hand out the window just before. Instead, I skip from the car to our front door.

“Now sweetheart, it’s almost bedtime. Maybe that ice cream was a bad idea! Time to settle down, okay?”

“Okay mommy,” I beam at her.

We go inside and I wash up, change into my pj’s. Mommy turns on my golden half moon nightlight and kisses my forehead as I get ready to climb into bed. I grab five or six toys that have been chosen for the Royal Sleepover tonight (those worthy enough to sleep beside my pillow), and start kissing each one good night. Each Royal Sleepover guest gets one kiss a night, but Spot gets nine kisses every night because that’s how old I am. And he is in regular attendance to the sleepover too, never just a guest. He’s basically my right hand!

I lift the covers to grab Spot, but he’s not there. I check the toy bin, he’s not there either. “MOMMY” I wail desperately. Mommy comes running in the room, “What baby? What!”

“Spot,” I say, already breathing heavily and sniffling full force, my boogies racing against the tears on my cheeks to see who can reach my chin faster. “He’s gone. I don’t know where he went and I haven’t kissed him good night. He’s not going to be able to sleep if we don’t find him!”

Mommy seems to understand the severity of what’s going on and gets on the floor, checking under the bed. She takes my hand and we walk to the living room, but nothing.

“Sweetheart,” my mommy says seriously… “did you leave Spot by the jungle gym when you were climbing? I told you it’s a bad idea to take your toys to the park.”

Horror, fear, and devastation seize my nine year old body. The realization is cold and unforgiving - Spot is alone at the park. I let out another wail against my will, and mommy wraps me in a hug. “It’s okay baby. We can go to the park first thing in the morning and see if he’s still there.”

“IF? Where else would he go?? Mommy he can’t be by himself all night, he CAN’T. I didn’t even get to kiss him good night or anything.”

“Spot will stay strong for you honey, I promise. He knows how much you love him, okay? First thing tomorrow, I promise. We’ll go look.”

We walk to my room and I fling myself onto my bed with a hearty sob, violently swiping the other toys onto the floor with my arm. I whisper “I love you Spotty” and fall asleep soon after, tuckered out by the powerful grief of loss and the mint chocolate chip cone that seems so long ago now.

When I open my eyes, it’s light out. I sit up in flash, ready to scour the town with mommy. I look beside my pillow, and gasp in sudden disbelief. Spot… came back? All by himself?? I yell for mommy and tell her the good news. “You were right! Spot came! He is so strong and so smart and he made it home to me all by himself.” I wrap him in a massive hug and plant kisses up and down his ears, then leave a big one on his nose for good measure. Then I hug mommy tightly too.

“He sure did. He must have felt how strong your love is and knew how worried you were.” Mommy looks tired, but she smiles at me. She tells me to come have breakfast, and I take Spot with me, following mommy in her sneakers as she walks to the kitchen, her car keys jingling from her hand.