Flames rip through us Dreams ground into dust Enough ghosts roaming To swallow the earth whole If only they breathed The same air as the living The sky hangs dark And thick with tragedy Hope glints like distant stars You squint to see any of it You reach your arm out to fit just one Into the frame of two fingers At just the right angle You lean into the illusion That it’s still within reach You tell me you’re crazy I tell you I know You see it in me too So you pull me close To kiss the missing parts in you You wander through your heavy house The walls are screaming You can tell by the way the paint is peeling Bursting with memory and feeling Years spent off balance Has sent it all reeling Art to cover the walls And hands to cover your ears You try to explain what it is that you hear When night falls and the wind blows Carrying the message of the weight of the world It whips flames through our homes Manufacturing early graves Toppling trees and battling with the seas It whips blood flow into our cheeks Begging for an audience Wake up! It pleads But no one will hear it The world keeps burning We stare at screens and fan the flames We consume and we are consumed Look for little pleasures to give it all measure What’s a life worth building When you can’t see through the smoke Build anyway and watch it shatter? Or patiently wait for the ashes to scatter And start again

Splashes A wonder My young eyes Widening as water spouts In a million directions asunder The childlike urge to run under And dance as though in a storm

Thunder Sloshing footsteps And jovial exclamations
T-shirt sticks to skin Licking ice cream stains away Soaking wet we run and play Tomorrow never dares to cross our minds

Today We live And make memories Little artists of creation The playground rolls the tape We belly laugh, our mouths agape And remind our parents how to live

Give Every part Of your being To this moment now Let it linger and last Lest we let it wander past Like drops of water lost in wind Don’t spend life waiting for life to begin

It is easy to get lost in the underworld To trail off the main path Following the crunch of dead leaves Or bone Or dreams beneath your feet All roads lead to hellfire anyway

Even steps lightly taken Are echoed by screams of lost souls forsaken And no stars litter the skies for guidance Only endless ash whistling past To let you know this moment Is no different from the last

No gust of fresh air to help you catch your breath Only misery, no more mystery, only death

Death, death

No moss growing greenly to point you the way Only whispers from demons beckoning you astray Only flames in each direction spread the smell of decay So you take another step and let come what may All roads lead to hellfire anyway

Heavy weight of winter Keep spring from me Drag me by my ankles Through would-be fields of flowers Still deliberately icy Still sleeping, nestled into time And bury me safely beneath frozen roots

Let frost creep over me Keep me in its bondage Lest I glimpse blue skies and ask myself Do you think the sun gets lonely up there? The question burns too much to bear Let clouds keep me from the plight of its rays Let snowfall whisk away warmth before it stays

That first warm breeze That tickles through like a tease If I capture a taste Let it dissipate in the smoke of my cold Choked breath I want no part of it Anymore

How could I think to survive again A moment past a fresh April rain Everything awakening around me Life bursting from the ground As if rain would melt my chains And blossoms tempt my captors from their posts

Dark dead of winter Keep my weary heart from beating Any louder Let spring pass us by Without the gift of a moment’s glance So we never have to question Why again and again it leaves In its cosmically choreographed dance Or why some places It will never find at all

Lights in the windows Always lights Always strange blue birds in flight Reflecting as they’re flying past Century-old buildings built to last Pinky and puffy powder clouds Blue birds pass through, crying loud People bustling down below Watch the birds pass to and fro Blue birds bathe in iridescence Capturing the city’s essence Look closely at one in a tree It’s perched on all your memories Lights that change colors and fade Clouds reflect the mess we made But strange blue birds remain the same No one can tell you when they came

When the poetry’s too loud When the words seep in my bones When sorrow tugs and scrapes my heart I gag and stifle a wretched moan

I look up Watch raindrops coat the window glass I find one making it’s way down fast I let it guide me as it slides past The others that stand too still

And in its motion I can breathe A drop in the ocean A wave breaks over a reef And in the break I find relief

And in the poem another beat A means to read on, kicking my feet Gasping in fresh air Salt soaked tears strike my face bare

Little raindrop on the move Carving out a gentle groove Little raindrop making its way down Little raindrop won’t let me drown

Looped into A life lived twice So don’t worry about me I’ll get it right next time

Whatever these lessons I collect on the way Wash away from me By the end of each day

But let’s say I stay hidden Nothing grows in the dark And what doesn’t grow Doesn’t age And what won’t age won’t die Life’s safer in a cage A nicely packaged little lie

I’ll just turn away and ignore any signs I’ll call on delusion to blur any lines Beauty evaded is not beauty lost

Stay quiet, stay small Stay Keep what you have Give nothing away

If I look into you and I see myself clearer Why not shrink back And hide from that mirror

If I never know you then what can I owe you If you can’t ever place me Maybe you won’t break me

The mystery starves me yet keeps me alive Is there no other way for us to survive? To see myself in you without shying away

Maybe with nothing to prove I can close my eyes Let my breath man the sails Maybe spirit will break free So life can prevail

But oh god If I give it my all and I fail Better to shut it away And pretend we’re all given More versions of today

Looped into A life lived twice Don’t worry about me I’ll get it right next time

You were a stranger Taking shelter from the rain Not sensing any danger I asked you when was the next train

You said ten minutes, maybe five Then you asked me for a light Watching the rain I felt alive Lighting your cigarette that night

Red and blue lights pooled together Making purple puddles dance We stood swaying with the weather I felt the fire of your glance

I looked over to meet your eyes You started whistling a tune My mouth opened in surprise You said “your train is coming soon”

“The rain is kind of nice to watch” You nodded and said “It is. Would you want to take it up a notch? Where are you headed after this?”

Puzzed, I said “I’m headed home. But I’m intrigued, what do you mean?” “Rain’s nicer with coffee, sugar and foam. In warm seats, behind a window screen.”

“That’s true,” I said “I’m not in any rush. There’s a cute cafe on the next street.” I held out my umbrella and saw you blush So we locked arms and aligned our feet

We found a pace and walked in step Exchanging names and little quips You said I walked with lots of pep I laughed at the smile on your lips

In the heart of the city Under the neon lights Our paths crossed in lines so pretty Igniting endless magic nights

For a brief moment in time, I had forgotten anyone cared about me at all. The beat of my heart in my own chest sounded unfamiliar. I couldn’t recognize my eyes in the mirror no matter how hard I stared. This brief moment was brief only in the span of our vast universe. In actuality, it lasted years, with only intervals of relief. I lived like a mammal confined to rough seas, breaking the surface tension for a gulp of air, only to return to swimming through darkness. One pure bit of love, one reminder from someone that you matter, it can shift everything back into place. That’s all it took for me to come back. I found your letter in a drawer, wrinkled with touch and time. I read it over and over, letting the words resuscitate me. I accepted the gift, feeling a swirl and mix of feelings inside me. It was a shock. It was as though I’d been staring at my own reflection in a spoon too long, the face upside down, distorted. Love had been whistling around me all this time, at a frequency I just couldn’t hear. And all the while my bowl had stood empty, the air I was breathing was thin and stale, there was no music in the wind. And then, I found your letter. A little sugar in my bowl, it coated the spoon too, and so it was that the spoon was put to rest. And just like that I can once again take in the world around me. The way it once took me in. The way it breathes life into me so I can breathe it right back. Thank you for loving me.

I walk in the shadows Among pillars of my past Stopping to see the sights Of all the things that never last  With the ghosts of memories I walk hand in hand And each place I revisit Feels like uncharted land

I don’t meddle with the present Staying in one moment stales I’d rather walk through all that’s been Safely memorialized, lest the future fails

Erecting monuments of shadows Excited by all that once was seen Evading capture by the present I’ll be traveling in my dreams