‘Dad?!’ I gasp.

This cannot be happening! I look between my phone and out my window in my car. Here I thought while I have a quiet five minutes in my car before work, I’ll try swiping left and right to find the one - such an innocent thought. This is not what I expected to see at 7.15am on a Monday morning.

Now I know mum and dad have been split for a few months now, but why the hell is he coming on my screen? I have protocols in place so I don’t see people above 35, as I am 29…dad is 51.

Should I click it? Do I want to click it? Yes I do, but once I open it - there is no going back. I am going to have to bleach my eyes. This is going to go into that little black box in my brain that will forever be forgotten.

My thumb hesitates to click the button that will bring up his profile. I take a deep breath, rest my head on my seat, and say a silent prayer. _Please Dad, please no sexy talk from you be on your profile_!

My thumb begrudgingly touches the screen. Okay he has written 30 as his age - dad no way you only look 30. The first picture I saw was one in his work uniform- at least he is clean shaven and looks somewhat presentable. Second picture- blank. Huh. How you gonna get the ladies dad with one pic?

I scroll down to his bio.

‘A king looking for his queen’ I groan as I say this out loud. How cringey. Good to know that you consider yourself a king you alcoholic cheater. But good to know.

Hobbies - loves walks on the beach, camping, travel.

Hmm I know the camping one as that’s where you like to drink yourself silly - it’s not fun watching your father drink himself silly and pee wherever he likes.

That’s all that’s there. I wonder how many dates he has been on?

‘Fuck!’ My eyes catch the time and I realised I start work in 5 minutes! I quickly grab everything and get out. Getting half way to the door of work when I realise I need to lock my car, I quickly spin, dig into my pocket and press the button. Do not want the kids of the neighbourhood getting into my car! No thanks.

My boss is not going to believe what I am gonging to say to her. Should I tell her? She’d want to know. I rush through signing myself in, and walk straight to my bosses door. She looks up as I enter, smiles and says morning.

I smile at her in return ‘Guess what?’

‘What?’

‘Mum, I found dad on my dating app!’