Life without you... I don’t even know where to start.

Life without you wouldn’t be sad, no. Sad is not the word. The word I’m looking for is empty, lonely, boring.

I met you when I had no friends at all and I couldn’t seem to even say “hi” to someone. But I did with you. Because you seemed to be one of these people that wouldn’t ever judge, no matter my racing thoughts telling me that you would.

As I expected, you didn’t. And you made me feel like I could be everything I wanted with you because you were never going to judge me and you would love me anyways.

You’re the first real friend I had. And you thought me how to actually get the words out of my mouth when I want to say something. For me that’s a big deal.

Last night you told me that you wanted to disappear for a while, without any explanation. And I obviously got really scared.

Because after having known you for years, you had never done something like that. Because I don’t know what “a while” means, could be three days or three years. But what scared me the most was that I couldn’t seem to know what happened or how to help.

I felt useless. I felt like I had been a terrible friend who didn’t know what was really going on in your life, whatever it is.

Yesterday I realized that you have never really talked about how you’re feeling after all these years. I didn’t even notice it. Where does that place me as a friend?

I’m sorry for never asking you what’s going on or how to help. I feel terrible and shitty and I want to change that when you come back.

Could be in three days or three years.