Life without you... I don’t even know where to start.

Life without you wouldn’t be sad, no. Sad is not the word. The word I’m looking for is empty, lonely, boring.

I met you when I had no friends at all and I couldn’t seem to even say “hi” to someone. But I did with you. Because you seemed to be one of these people that wouldn’t ever judge, no matter my racing thoughts telling me that you would.

As I expected, you didn’t. And you made me feel like I could be everything I wanted with you because you were never going to judge me and you would love me anyways.

You’re the first real friend I had. And you thought me how to actually get the words out of my mouth when I want to say something. For me that’s a big deal.

Last night you told me that you wanted to disappear for a while, without any explanation. And I obviously got really scared.

Because after having known you for years, you had never done something like that. Because I don’t know what “a while” means, could be three days or three years. But what scared me the most was that I couldn’t seem to know what happened or how to help.

I felt useless. I felt like I had been a terrible friend who didn’t know what was really going on in your life, whatever it is.

Yesterday I realized that you have never really talked about how you’re feeling after all these years. I didn’t even notice it. Where does that place me as a friend?

I’m sorry for never asking you what’s going on or how to help. I feel terrible and shitty and I want to change that when you come back.

Could be in three days or three years.

A spark of electricity. That’s all it took to burn down a whole family life, a bunch of memories that happened there.

The official cause of the fire was a spark of electricity, but Ethan is sure that’s not the real cause. Because before the whole house started to burn, he heard a voice saying “fire is the only way to get the demon out of here”.

That day I needed inspiration. I needed a day off to myself, a day to think and find creativity. So I went to the place I knew would give me the inner peace I wanted: the forest.

As I walked through the woods hearing the sound of the animals, I could already picture all the things I could draw. That’s why I like the forest — it makes me find beauty in the smallest things.

I sat under a tall tree that had a hole in its trunk, I took my sketch book out of my bag and started to draw. I drew for hours and hours, many different things, landscapes, animals, colors... I completely lost track of time.

I got back to reality thanks to the sound of a breaking branch. It was already dark, but I hadn’t notice it. Initially, I didn’t pay attention to the sound, but the more I listened, the more it sounded like steps coming close to me. Who would be in the woods in the night?

It didn’t take me a long time to realize that the question was not who, it was what.

From the hole in the trunk of the tree, a shadow was coming out and getting closer and closer to me.

I didn’t even grab my stuff. I just started running, but the shadow, that looked like a wolf, didn’t seem to go away.

I didn’t look back, I just ran and ran until I didn’t hear the steps of the wolf behind me. When I was almost completely sure that I had left it behind, I looked back — and there it was.

Before I could turn back, I tripped on a branch and fell, and my mind went blank.

being weird is different, but being different isn’t weird.

“I’ll be back in a couple of hours”, Helena said resting her little hand in the flashing red door of her wardrobe. “Don’t be too scared, it’s okay”.

School today was going to be even more boring than yesterday, and definitely more than the day before. School already couldn’t teach her anything that she hadn’t read in some random book before. Really impressive for a seven year-old girl, although she wasn’t a normal seven year-old. She was way more intelligent and mature than any other kid her age, but that wasn’t the only thing that made her stand out.

She had tried to convince her mother to homeschool her. Helena said that she preferred to discover the world on her own over someone telling her what she should or shouldn’t do. Also, being at home would give her more time to be with her dear friend, but only her could know that.

The day passed really slow for her. Another boring day at school wishing to get home to her only real friend. She was too good for the other kids anyway.

During the break, she grabbed her lunch and went straight to her spot. The bench under the tree where no one ever wanted to sit. They said some kid threw up in there so you must not sit there in case it’s contagious. Helena wasn’t that dumb to believe that.

As she ate her homemade muffin, she looked at the other kids playing hide and seek, wondering how it would be to be normal and able to play hide and seek like every other kid her age, without worrying about what they would think if they discovered that she does what she does. She wouldn’t want to end up in a kids mental hospital like that boy in 1976.

“Don’t you ever play with the other kids? It would surely make you less suspicious”. Helena freaked out when she heard the voice of her friend Walter. There’s no way he was actually there and not behind the flashing red door of her wardrobe.

“Are you stupid?”, she whispered. “People are going to see you”.

“May I remind you that you’re the only one that can see me?”.

“That’s why! People are going to see me talking to you and they’ll ask me questions and I’ll end up in a mental hospital. And it would be your fault, like in 1976”.

You may think that she didn’t want to be in a mental hospital because she didn’t want to leave her mother behind, or because of what people would think about her afterwards. And she worried about that too, believe me. But her real worry was being away from Walter. And all of that happened because she had the unusual fate of having a ghost as her only friend.

the day her father died she didn’t even cry, she stood there, emotionless, hoping to go back in time. she wanted to believe that it was only just a dream, that everything would be alright when she knew it wouldn’t be. the days blended together, she lost her smile forever, like it was some ghost in earth that wouldn’t be the same ever. she couldn’t go back in time, she couldn’t get back her smile, she hasn’t even cried since the day her father died.

Wednesday, 5:40pm. We get another call for an ambulance. A middle-aged woman is having a heart attack. We get calls like this everyday, I mean, it’s our job to save people from dying. But nothing has been the same since the sentence “the ducks are coming” was said for the first but not last time. It’s the only thing people have said before dying for the past two months, and no one knows what it means. It’s like a shadow that’s following you: you can act like it doesn’t exist, but you can still feel its presence.

When we get to the place where the woman is, she’s almost dead. We get her into the ambulance, we try to revive her and make sure she doesn’t die in the way to the hospital.

But we all knew it was too late right from the start, and I know we were all thinking the same: “Please don’t say ‘the ducks are coming’, please don’t say ‘the ducks are coming’, please don’t say ‘the ducks are coming’”.

And she didn’t say it.

Right before her heartbeat stopped, the woman said: “The ducks are already here”.

Suddenly, the ambulance ran over a duck and crashed.

maybe this spring will make everything flow again, just like trees will grow leaves, the blossoming flowers and the bees are coming back to life as it always has been. maybe this spring the world turned upside down will go back to what it used to be.