This was the worst pain I had, and will likely ever, experience in my entire existence. I had never been so close to giving up, and yet still managed to keep on fighting. My body was burned and bloodied, my shoulders were stiff, and any time I moved a blinding, white pain, like lightening shot through my body, paralyzing me in place. How did they do it? How did he keep going?

My thoughts flashed back to hours earlier. The confidence in which I held myself in front Her, thinking I’d be met with understanding and forgiveness. She forgives her little humans all the time for their sins, why would She be different with me? I knew my fate was sealed the second she looked at me. I could see right through Her cool, calm exterior, the inescapable rage was boiling just below the surface. I knew my words, my arguments, and my pleas would fall on deaf ears. She was having none of it, and declared my life forfeit.

The hours felt like days while she took sadistic pleasure in slowly plucking my wings bare. She had torn the flesh and bone from my shoulders, slowly twisting and snapping them to make my screams sweeter on her tongue. I don’t remember all the slurs and curses that I bestowed my creator, but I remember the last clearly. “THIS IS WHY YOU LOST YOUR PRECIOUS PET, MORNINGSTAR!” I remember screaming, my own rage and betrayal taking over my mind. It gave her enough pause that I could catch my breath between my tears. The silence was deafening, and I waited for her to eviscerate me from my existence.

With a scream that seemed to echo for far too long, the blinding pain from breathing too deeply took me out of the torturous memory. “Thank -“ I stopped myself, knowing god was the last one I should be thanking. “Guess I’ll need a substitute to thank instead,” I thought weakly.

I knew I needed to move and leave the crater I had inadvertently created. Falling angels always made for a spectacular entrance, and I knew mine wouldn’t have gone unnoticed by the primitive humans. “Fast, quick and fluid like setting a broken bone,” I thought to myself. I clamped my lip between my teeth and tried to get up quickly and without thinking. My screams came out strangled, as I choked on my own tears, my body trying to stay in autopilot. “Maybe fast wasn’t the best idea,” my brain sarcastically chastised and I tasted fresh blood from biting through my lip.

Pain and sarcasm aside, I was standing and I knew I had to find shelter so I could heal. Every movement, every breath was excruciating but I was alive and free, and that was worth fighting for.