Bruce readjusted himself in his office chair. He took a look at this schedule, checked the clock, and sat back in a more comfortable position. He was gonna fire somebody today. Well, lay off was probably a better term, but it wouldn’t make a difference to the employee. It wasn’t something that he dreaded or desired, he was actually pretty neutral about the whole thing. It was just another part of his job.

There was a knock on the door, before a young man came through. “I was told you wanted to see me for something?“ said the young man.

“Yes, Mike, why don’t you take a seat,” said Bruce.

Mike took a chair closest to the door. He seemed nervous and tried to be quiet with his entrance. Bruce didn’t find this odd; lots of his younger employees tended to be a bit nervous around him. Bruce felt bad, but knew there was nothing he could do about it.

Bruce tried to find the perfect words, something that would be to the point but not too harsh. Mike spoke up after a silence, “did I do something wrong?”

Bruce jumped to the opportunity. “Well, I guess not really, although some of your actions may have helped with the decision.”

“What decision?”

“Well, Mike, you’re fired.”

Mike was silent. Bruce figured that was probably a good sign. “To be more accurate, you’re being laid off, but trust me when I say it wasn’t an easy decision. You can go grab your things and -“

“Fucking sweet!” Mike interrupted.

Bruce was caught off guard. “I beg your pardon?”

“You don’t own me anymore, old man! Eat my farts!”

“I’m sorry, what?” Bruce was confused. Mike was usually a very nervous person, but this behavior was nothing like the Mike he knew.

“I’m free to do whatever I want, you big fart! I’m free from this stupid job!” Mike was visibly ecstatic and his whole body language had changed from feeble to energized.

“Well, it seems you’re taking this pretty well, albeit with a bit of disagreeable attitude, but sure, you’re free to go get your things and leave.” Bruce tried to lead Mike into leaving, but Mike only glared back at him.

“Don’t tell me what I’m free to do. You don’t control me! I’m a free man again! I don’t have to listen to you or report to you. If I wanted to I’d shit on your desk right now, fart-man!”

“That’s very exciting for you, ‘freedom’ and all. Now, if you don’t mind, I have work to get back to. Goodbye Mike.” Bruce motioned for the door, but Mike didn’t move. He just kept staring down Bruce, like a wild animal.

Mike smiled slowly, before he stood quickly and began beating his arms against his chest like a gorilla.

“Aaaah aaah ooh aaah aaaah ooh!” Mike pounded his chest and hopped on Bruce’s desk.

Bruce had no idea when Mike was planning on leaving his office.