WRITING OBSTACLE

Inspired by Cleo Fitzsimmons

Write a dual narrative from two characters on different sides of a disagreement.

A dual narrative depicts both characters' perspectives, although it does not have to be written in first person. The disagreement could be something personal, where they both hold different views, or perhaps something like a war where they have the same opinion but from different sides.

Yellow Or Green

They say the flowers green. Green?! Like an icky goo! I think its yellow, like the Sun thats warm to the touch. Its yellow, like a ring that twist and turns around my grasp. But most of all its like the yellow in his eyes, welcoming and warm. Yellow?! Yellow is bright and annoying. Take a highlighter, serving its point saying “Over here! Look at me!”. No this flower is Green. A green as sweet as the apples which bring a smile to anyones face on a summer day. Or a green identical to the grass after a midnight rain, perfect for a picnic the next day. Maybe... a picnic with her, the next day...

Comments 3

Tom N

4 years ago

I agree with C.S. Harwell’s point. That small grammar mistake starts off the piece with a bit of confusion.

I enjoyed it though. I enjoyed the simple argument about the colour of the flower, I like the personification of the highlighter etc too.

I would just say be careful about the metaphors you use. A green as sweet as the apples is, in my mind, a totally different green to grass after a midnight rain. I love the fact you explored different metaphors here, but I would try and keep them with a consistent message if possible :)

Bernard Wicks

4 years ago

This was such a beautiful little story! I love the conflicting arguments between the two characters that give a whimsical feel to the overall plot. I do have one thing to critique and it is just like a small grammar issue. The first sentence is rather unclear in the way it is worded, but I believe adding an apostrophe between flower and s (flower’s) will make it a contraction (although I would just say “the flower is green”), while at the moment it is an informal way of saying that multiple flowers are green.

Bailey Morehouse

My mind is miles away