I've lost myself.

I can't find who I use to be. Although I keep searching.

I can't look in the mirror, & see the man anymore.

I can only hide, & look into the eyes I call mine.

I wonder alone. Not by chance,

But by choice. There are people who love me,

But I can't bring them down. I'm a sinking ship,

A ticking time bomb. I'm just not sure when I'll drown,

Or I'll finaly explode.

I've lost myself.

I can't seem to figure out who I am anymore.

I thought I knew, but it was only defined by what once was.

I cry myself to sleep at night, &wonder "God why?"

I’m not perfect….I’ve made my share of mistakes, but everyone only seems to remember them.

They can't let go of my past, & I can't see my future.

Everyone says I'm like an open book, but can they read the lines I've wrote?

I can't understand why I write these words, not even where they were born.

But these

are on my pages.

I've lost myself.

I wish a could smoke pot, & have gotten drunk just to feel numb.

I wish I could cut my wrists to shreds, & just watch bleed.

I told myself it will all be okay, it's just a lie I have to say.

I fake a smile everyday, so no one will notice I've gone astray.

I fight the demons in my head, but I'm a one man army against many.

I can't tell you I'll keep my promise, when I know it will break.

I can't tell you I'll be fine, my mind is working right.

I can't tell you that I'll be okay.

I've lost myself.

I can't understand who I am anymore, or why I'm here.

I can't comperheand why I'm alive, or why I still breath.

I can't tell you I'll live to see another day, when I know I possibly won't.

I can't tell you I love you, when I'm not sure how to love anymore.

But I can tell you, if I see you tomorrow.

That I survived another day, & I'm still here to stay.

But if I don't wake up tomorrow, it's because today & yesterday,

Have finally broke me.