Listening to Bob Dylan,

In a nice Camaro,

I’m sipping Coca Cola and chillin’

And I’m feeling like a Pharaoh!

No, the old cassette is playing this song I hate,

Sitting in a junkyard Toyota I keyed,

I’m downing vodka and I don’t feel so great-

Maybe I need some weed.

Suntanning on the beach,

Surrounded by manly masculine lifeguards,

We’re all looking like BayWatch models, salads for each,

Yeah, in the ocean wifh all these half-naked lifeguards!

No, I’m on the shore of a lake in November, and it’s raining,

A couple homeless guys shuffle past,

This ain’t no oil painting,

I’m miserable and I don’t want this to last.

I’m skinny and I’m pretty,

Well-liked as well,

And I’m kind, sexy, witty,

Everybody knows that my life isn’t hell!

Nope, yellowish, throwing up and starving,

I’m known only as their dealer

Not their friend, and I’m not charming.

Life’s already hell and I’m not going to heaven, no, I’m not a believer.