I am not sure

The last time

I felt

Normal

Matter of fact what is

normal

anyway?

I am always in pain

Thoughts never stop

going through my brain

It never STOPS

My mind and my body

they ache

they creak

they scream for mercy

What is normal?

Is is calm?

Is it quiet?

Is it nice?

I really want to know

what normal feels like

because i dont know

the last time i felt normal

Not since I was diagnosed with diabetes

at 7

but no one understands

that i didnt cause it

No one gets

that sugar

wasnt the issue

and that i have a dead organ inside

I havent felt normal

not since I was diagnosed

with POTS

at 14

Not since

I was diagnosed with

Anxiety

at 10

Not since I was diagnosed

with Adhd

and OCD

at 11

Not since my body

starting hating me

even though

I already hate myself

I dont know what normal feels like

ever since normal

started to feel like

nothing at all