Cade: That was the weirdest show I have ever done. I mean the chairs are Hobbit sized, the floor is pale red and the noise from the ice machine fills the room.

Lena: I know. It’s like every time it made ice it was laughing!

Ashkan: At us or with us?

Lena: We’re comics, you better hope they are laughing at you! Dummy.

Cade: They don’t laugh when Ash is on.

Ashkan: Okay okay make fun, that still doesn’t change the fact that you live in a one bedroom and I fucked your mom.

Cade: First of all it’s a two bedroom and my mom said your stroke was weak.

Lena: yeah you know Trina said the same thing.

Ashkan: Trina?

Lena: The waitress you banged

Ashkan: Why did you have to say it like that?

Lena: Like what?

Ashkan: All whiny and shit?

Lena: Cause that’s how I imagine your dick sounds. “Wah, I finished early again, I’m embarrassed and can never call her back now!”

Cade: (imitating Ash’s whiny penis) It’s not my fault! His stroke game is weak, he was born with little hips.”

Ashkan: Ahh yes Trina I remember her now. I didn’t call her back cause when she took off all her makeup she looked exactly like you. And I don’t date Spotted Hyena’s. I will however fuck Cades mother on his bed and then tell her not to do the laundry.

Bartender: Hey guys, it’s time to go. Who’s covering the bill?

Lena: Whoever cries first.

Cade and Ash: Whoever cries first

Bartender: 5 minuets okay.

And my money is on Cade.

Cade: What why me?

Bartender: I see you perform 3 times a week, I heard your set, your child hood sucks. And I really can’t believe Ash slept with your mom.

Cade: I know me either.

Lena: She had you young, not your fault she is still hot and slick.

Cade: Thank you for trying to help, but maybe go to AA first.

Lena: why? They don’t sell liquor there?

Ashkan: This is truth, this, truth from the rum stained lips of a failed athlete.

Lena: You want to kiss me and taste the vintage? I’m sure you could guess what brand it is. Seeing how your papa owns every bottle owned. You grew up so rich I bet you were never breastfed just motorboated by implants. Just jugs (she mimic’s a motor boating)

Ashkan: Dr. Spielman does tremendous work, I would recommend him to you but he doesn’t do facial reconstruction.

Lena: Fuck you im beautiful.

Cade and Ash nod in agreement.

Cade: How about fuck me your beautiful

Ashkan: Cade where is she going to fuck you ? You can’t bring her back to your apartment? Your mom and I will be using your room.

Cade: Dude don’t.

Lena: Ooh he’s is on the ropes, just make sure you give ‘em back to Ash after so he can restrain your mom.

Cade: Dammit! I’m out. Third time this week I’ve had to cover the bill. You really just had to bang my mom?

Ashkan: Yeah you kept ordering steaks and making me pay. I had to have a trump card!

Bartender: so?

Lena: ‘Twas Cade who felt the sting of wit.

Bartender: Told you. Your life is sad bro. Good luck with all that lol.