Open: King Cleos Whitestream and the young councilman Linus Drinkwater are at supper in the dining hall of Evenground castle. The day is in its first cycle of sun sleep.
Linus: (Cuts into a pink slab of braised bison flank) I have to admit that I have never eaten this late before. But then again I have never hunted my own bison before either.
Cleos: It can be thrilling at first, but I find the more I do it, the more I wish I didn’t have to. There are better things to do with my time when I have servants who can do the hunting for me.
Cleos looks around the room at the 4 Masanian servants currently waiting on him and his guest.
Cleos: I’m sure you lot would love a trot outside, wouldn’t you.
They all stare at each other, not sure who will, nor how to answer.
Linus: Well why don’t they?
Cleos ponders this for a moment.
Cleos: They can’t. Too busy working.
The two friends laugh at their prosperity and status.
Cleos: I am, however the king and can do what I like.
He turns back to his servants
Cleos: How about that? Next whole moon I’ll take you lot hunting!
Linus: There’s a outstanding idea.
Out of the four servants only three look pleased, their stature hinting at there hunting background, whilst one who looks rather less hunty, looks visibly terrified.
Cleos: Yes, a hunt it will be! Then we can eat it together, but remember…
Pause None move
Cleos: I get the finest cuts, for I am king of Evenground!
Linus: All hail your new king.
The whole room bows in obedience.
I never knew what I would find at the Assiniboine carnival. I knew there would be clowns and jugglers and all things of that sort, but even then you never knew what would happen when all those players got in motion. I never knew what I would find, but I never expected to find a reason to leave home. I could bore you with my backstory, tell you how I had only ever wanted to be a writer and my parents wanted me to pursue law instead. I could tell you how I had been in love twice and have had my heart broken twice, but I’d rather skip ahead to July 24th, the day I joined the Assiniboine Carnival.
Cade: That was the weirdest show I have ever done. I mean the chairs are Hobbit sized, the floor is pale red and the noise from the ice machine fills the room.
Lena: I know. It’s like every time it made ice it was laughing!
Ashkan: At us or with us?
Lena: We’re comics, you better hope they are laughing at you! Dummy.
Cade: They don’t laugh when Ash is on.
Ashkan: Okay okay make fun, that still doesn’t change the fact that you live in a one bedroom and I fucked your mom.
Cade: First of all it’s a two bedroom and my mom said your stroke was weak.
Lena: yeah you know Trina said the same thing.
Ashkan: Trina?
Lena: The waitress you banged
Ashkan: Why did you have to say it like that?
Lena: Like what?
Ashkan: All whiny and shit?
Lena: Cause that’s how I imagine your dick sounds. “Wah, I finished early again, I’m embarrassed and can never call her back now!”
Cade: (imitating Ash’s whiny penis) It’s not my fault! His stroke game is weak, he was born with little hips.”
Ashkan: Ahh yes Trina I remember her now. I didn’t call her back cause when she took off all her makeup she looked exactly like you. And I don’t date Spotted Hyena’s. I will however fuck Cades mother on his bed and then tell her not to do the laundry.
Bartender: Hey guys, it’s time to go. Who’s covering the bill?
Lena: Whoever cries first.
Cade and Ash: Whoever cries first
Bartender: 5 minuets okay.
And my money is on Cade.
Cade: What why me?
Bartender: I see you perform 3 times a week, I heard your set, your child hood sucks. And I really can’t believe Ash slept with your mom.
Cade: I know me either.
Lena: She had you young, not your fault she is still hot and slick.
Cade: Thank you for trying to help, but maybe go to AA first.
Lena: why? They don’t sell liquor there?
Ashkan: This is truth, this, truth from the rum stained lips of a failed athlete.
Lena: You want to kiss me and taste the vintage? I’m sure you could guess what brand it is. Seeing how your papa owns every bottle owned. You grew up so rich I bet you were never breastfed just motorboated by implants. Just jugs (she mimic’s a motor boating)
Ashkan: Dr. Spielman does tremendous work, I would recommend him to you but he doesn’t do facial reconstruction.
Lena: Fuck you im beautiful.
Cade and Ash nod in agreement.
Cade: How about fuck me your beautiful
Ashkan: Cade where is she going to fuck you ? You can’t bring her back to your apartment? Your mom and I will be using your room.
Cade: Dude don’t.
Lena: Ooh he’s is on the ropes, just make sure you give ‘em back to Ash after so he can restrain your mom.
Cade: Dammit! I’m out. Third time this week I’ve had to cover the bill. You really just had to bang my mom?
Ashkan: Yeah you kept ordering steaks and making me pay. I had to have a trump card!
Bartender: so?
Lena: ‘Twas Cade who felt the sting of wit.
Bartender: Told you. Your life is sad bro. Good luck with all that lol.
Greta: They’re something else aren’t they.
“Startled! Dante quickly fumbles his vial of Felix back into his pocket”
-Greta doesn’t notice
Dante: Hmm? The fish?
Greta: Yes the fish. They are River genies
-Oh good she didn’t notice
Dante: Yes. They are different.
Greta: Different to us because we have seen many different fish. To each other, they are the same.
Dante: Do you think there is one little fish in there who longs to be special? To be different?
Greta: Yes, and they either grow wings and fly or get eaten by a bird. I wonder which one we will be?
No good deed goes unpunished
“Long ago before your time Lived Waldhexe Ragged clothes and bending spine Was Waldhexe She feeds off youth and old alike Don’t try to run, no need to fight Once in her grasp you’ll never leave Old Waldhexe Poor Waldhexe”
Dante finished reading and placed the old book down on the table beside him.
Gilly: What was all that?
Dante: That was an old nursery rhyme. Something the kids used to sing. Of course with time the words change but the tune always remains. Now it is a popular jingle for kitchen soap.
Gilly: oh oh “Dirty is your frying pan, use water wexa, water wexa”
Dante: That’s the one. A jingle that traces itself through my story and brings with it many painful memories. Sometimes Nursery rhymes have darker meanings.
Gilly: Are you saying that Waldhexe is real?
Dante stirs his tea pondering if now is the time to tell the story.
Dante: Let’s see what you think.
End scene.
It came to me like snails come to gardens Ready to consume A trail of slime leads Towards Leaves and pine
This thing called living The importance of it Thee un-important parts of it This thing that is death may move with haste or haste without It may move slow to fill you with dread and doubt We appreciate it cause we are it Alive and dead to death Yet we dance abreast A flamenco of youth To a waltz of wisdom Finally slow clap in chair Applaud the band as the ship sinks Like looking for lost clothes in a pile full, we look for purpose. Every once in awhile we find just the trousers we were looking for.
