[ribbit]
She was a Princess,
He was a frog
Can I make it any more obvious?
Ok, maybe I should.
The women from Lancaster had developed a recent obsession with kissing frogs, after rumors flew around about a frog who had turned into a prince after being kissed, and run away with a beautiful young woman. Of course, none of the other frogs in the kingdom had turned into handsome men yet, but that didn’t stop the girls from trying every chance they got. It got so bad, in fact, that there was a Salmonella outbreak in the land that had already killed twenty people and made hundreds horribly ill.
Adelaide lived on the outskirts of the village, in the ruins of an old castle that she had converted into a cottage of sorts. She prided herself in being far more level headed than other girls in Lancaster, and while they were out looking for frogs to date, she took advantage of the surplus of eligible bachelors. The word on the street was that she had a different man over every night, although that was probably an over exaggeration. Sure, there were suitors knocking on her door almost every day, but only a handful ever got invited inside.
This particular day, a young man from a neighboring kingdom stopped by to take his chances with Adelaide. His name was Henry, and he was not particularly handsome as young men go. He constantly appeared sickly and his skin was freckled with zits. His voice didn’t help- it was guttural and he spat when he spoke.
Adelaide, perhaps tired of the tirade of perfectly chiseled men who were only interested in taking her to bed, had decided to let Henry into her home. She put on a pot of tea and ushered him into the dining area. He kissed her hand and pulled out a chair for her to sit. She smiled softly, impressed by his politeness.
As the two spoke over tea and hors-d’œuvres, they discovered that they had quite a bit in common. Henry had also made a home for himself in the secluded wilderness outside of his hometown. Both were without families, but content enough. Adelaide expressed that she had been scouring the kingdom for someone to settle down with, to which Henry nodded in agreement. They laughed and shared stories until the sun had set and the plate of appetizers was nothing but crumbs.
Henry stood to leave. “I had a wonderful time tonight, Miss Adelaide,” he said, “I hope I can see you again soon?”
Adelaide lips curled upwards, “Perhaps.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Henry blushed, “But you’re one of the most normal girls I’ve met in a while.”
“No, I get it.” Adelaide laughed, “I’m probably the only girl in Lancaster who isn’t obsessed with kissing frogs.”
Henry moved towards her, grinning. “What, you’ve never kissed a frog before?”
“You’re nasty,” she teased, but she was smiling too, “I prefer my men…fleshy,” she eyed him up and down, “tall, maybe a little dorky…”
“Is dorky a bad thing?”
“Not if you don’t want it to be…”
In a moment of heat, Henry and Adelaide found themselves lip-to-lip, faces pressed tightly against one another’s. The air felt light as though it was full of pure magic and the world stopped spinning for just a moment.
When Adelaide opened her eyes, her mouth dropped. Henry had disappeared. She pinched herself to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating, then scanned the room in utter shock. She had just felt his lips against hers. She knew she had.
A gooey slap on the hardwood floor startled her. A fat brown frog was sitting in the middle of her dinning room, plump, warty, and oozing juices. The doors and windows were tightly closed, so Adelaide knew there could be only one explanation. And she hated it.
“Oh my goodness I’m gonna be sick,” she barreled towards the sink, turning paler by the second.
“Ribbit” said Henry as he hopped towards the door.