Broken and brilliant I thought.
AWAKENED
Flickering shadows dart across the ceiling
My eyes a lustful pyre keen
AWARE
A belated push present for the butterfly
Climbing in my bedroom window
ALIVE
The Wolf with hazel eyes of a generous boy
Stolen innocence taught him to lie
A MESS
Prayers to the sky as I fear the worst
Stories of Neverland & Wendy’s before me
I wonder how long until he devours me
AGAIN
I would love to know more about the story behind the poem! Who is this poem about? I feel like you kept the sentence length really nice and short and they are all the same kind of length which makes it easy to read.
As far as spelling ect all I can really notice in this piece is the second line doesn’t start with a capital letter when the other lines do.
You could change the wording a little more for example instead of beautiful you could use precious, impressive or irreplaceable.
I thought the length of the piece was great but again a little more hints to the readers about the story you are trying to create.
