I held the knife in my bare hands, just like I had done it a thousand times before with intent but this time I knew that it would be the last, this time I knew nothing else mattered, this time was to set me free. I sat there, the blade barely touching my skin, I was ready to let the purest of reds out of me no yesterday no tomorrow only here and only now. My entire existence lied in the air. I let go Nothing mattered anymore. I finally had control. Even though my last breaths were gone, I had never been so alive.