Static cuts over the speaker in my ear, yanking me from my thoughts.

“Sir? Sir? Pppshhhh, pppshhh… Come in, Mark.”

“I’ve… I’ve never seen anything like it,” I draw on, eyes locked in front of me.

“What is- pppshhh… Sir?”

…

“Recruit?”

…

“Sir?”

I reach up and disable the line connecting me to the server back home, my kids, my wife, my whole life goes with it.

.•.•.•.•.

“I know, I know guys,” I fight tears.

“Daddy, daddy don’t go,” my youngest says.

“You know it’s daddy’s job. I explore planets. I’ll bring you some moon dust back, okay?”

I know I won’t return to my children. I also know it’s very wrong to promise her something that I know won’t happen.

“I love both of you,” I point to my son and daughter.

“We love you too,” they say in unison.

Beside me, my wife sits in tears. She knows something is wrong. She knows something is different about this departure, but says nothing.

“And I love you too,” I gather her up in my arms and sigh at her warm body pressed against mine, I push a kiss to her forehead and stand.

“I love you, Mark,” she whispers, a hand pushed to her lips, “please be careful.”

“I will,” it’s another lie that I’ll soon regret.

I smile back at them as I exit through the front door, folding myself up in a black federal SUV, with a NASA tag stuck to the rear bumper.

“Mark Shantize,” the agent driving says.

“Yes sir.”

He puts the hunk of metal into drive and backs us out of the driveway. I catch a glance of my wife and two kids in the living room window, waving and crying.

“God bless it,” says the driver as I squeeze my eyes shut. “God bless it.”

•.•.•.•.•.

“Mark?”

I nod.

“You do understand this is a suicide mission?”

I nod.

“Do you still want to do it?”

I nod again.

The running boss of the NASA unit buckles me into my suit and zips the front. She glares at me as she hands me my bubble hat, the tinted visor raised.

“You can call your family, before you go, if you need to,” she says, a hint of pity in her voice.

I shake my head. Slowly.

I board the 89576 ship, my stomach in a knot as the door slides shut behind me. I sit down at the small command board and punch a few buttons, twist a few knobs.

The planet- planet 00271- is an uncharted planet, the government had been trying to hide it from the civilian eye, since it has possible life forms.

I was recruited as someone who could do the job. Four million dollars will be sent home, as soon as I collect the evidence of life that they want.

I click a few buttons on the circuit and give a weak smile as the shuttle shifts, the jets whirring into motion.

The planet is farther than Pluto, in another galaxy. Getting there is life threatening. Coming back to Earth is impossible, which is why this is called a suicide mission- I’m going in alone, knowing I’ll die.

I take a small picture of my family from my front pocket, I’d smuggled it in through the searching team. I attach the photo to the visor in the ship and sigh.

“Commander? Can you hear me?”

“Yes,” I answer the voice that cuts over the speaker in my ear. “Yes, I hear you.”

“Are we doing this?” She asks, her voice strong.

I nod. “Yes.”

There’s a pause, a click… The ship shutters, shifting into position as it prepares.

“Five…”

I look at my family hanging on the visor.

“Four…”

I close my eyes, say a prayer.

“Three…”

Smoke clouds the window, the rockets erupt.

“Two…”

I lean back in the chair, check my buckles.

“One…”

The rocket rumbles as it detaches itself from the rails, grey smoke plumes swirling before me.

“Liftoff.”

My hands find the armrests of the chair, I squeeze and say another prayer, my heart pumping wildly in my chest.

I fly like a bullet, pinned to my seat as me and my rocket disappear into the sky, never to be seen again.

At least, not in one piece. Maybe they’ll find my burnt shell of a shuttle in the sea some day.

.•.•.•.•.

I’ve just reached the unnamed planet. I connect the line and call out to the commander in charge.

“Landed on the pla- pshhh?” She goes out.

“Yes.” I reply.

“… you copy?”

“Didn’t read. Repeat.”

“Have you been out of your ship?”

“No. I was waiting on video feed.”

“You have it. Have you rested?”

“Yes.”

“Are you ready to exit your… pttthhhh…”

“Yes.”

“Exit.”

I do as the commander commands, and push the door open, pulling myself out in the zero gravity, floating across the planet.

It is barren, but off in the distance something dances in a single ray of light. I squint through my helmet and stare, mesmerized.

I know that back home, the commander is staring at the cameras pictures, jaw dropped.

“Pshhhh… pshhhhh…”

“Repeat?”

“The thing with the glow- approach.”

I do as commanded, once again, and approach the pulsing object. I lay a hand over the camera, in attempt to shield the glare, but wind up covering her view, as I notice what the object is.

“Oh my god…”

“Sir?”

“It’s…”

“What is it sir? You’re blocking the camera.”

“A sign of life… I-“ I pull the plug, disconnecting the line.

Static roars over the cord, I kneel and touch the footstep. A shoe too small. Small enough to be a four year old, my daughters shoe. And beside it, a larger print, an adult.