I looked through old pictures last night

And I cried

Or moreso

The crying took me

Deep, heavy, sobbing came out of me

My face contorted

The tears pouring down my face

Seeing the photos of you and me

Where your eyes look so sweet

I can still feel your soft little kisses on my lips

And the little smile you gave me

After a sweet little kiss

It tore through me

Gasping

Breaths with no oxygen

I couldn’t catch up with myself at times

I miss you so fucking much.

But then I keep looking through

And a photo reminds me of a night not so sweet

And then the nights after, the distance, the you taking the time with your friend

Avoiding our fight, waiting for my hurt feelings to recede

Leaving me feeling abandoned with my emotions

My hurt from a fight that you caused

But that you can barely remember.

Time and time again

Sweet memories

Scattered with the darkness I don’t want

I want those memories back, with you

The sweet ones, the ones that make the pain of missing you so present I can hardly breathe.

I love you so much.

It hurts so fucking much to have to miss you.

I guess this pain is better than a lifetime of the other.

At least with this one, hopefully with time,

It will fade.