STORY STARTER
Ron Primrose
Write a story set in a gallery or museum where only one item is exhibited.
Lady Starling
Lady Starling hung upon the wall, her face glaring down on me with a face of heaven itself. White lace ran down her dress, silloutting her figure as her little black bonnet lay comfortabley upon her head. She was slender and ghastly. Her fingers streched far like a long brittle thorn. Big Pearl necklaces wrapped around her throat squeezing tightly, ready to burst at any minute. Tomato juice stained the portaits face with shame and hate.
Most say this is what she deserves. Women should not have a wandering eye, especially not the Wife of the King. Women should not strech there smile to wide while conversating with another man who isnt her own. Who would have thought that Lady Starling’s Pearl choke would be replaced with the finest rope noose.
hey, I am so fascinated with this idea, and it really gave me a sense of the time period it was made in.
a few things:
- just some spelling errors: silloutting = silhouetting, comfortabley = comfortably, streched = stretched, strech = stretch
- also the "there" in "women should not stretch there smile" should be their :)
- capitalization: when you said "Big Pearl necklaces", I don't think "pearl" needs to be capitalized, and "Wife" of the King shouldn't be capitalized unless you're referring to her as "Queen", then it would be. Just the word wife by itself shouldn't be though. And "Pearl choke" at the end again shouldn't be either. (Also did you mean choke or choker 😭)
- lastly, punctuation: "like a long brittle thorn" should have a comma between long and brittle, and same between "Big" and "pearl" too. Between "throat" and "squeezing" should have a comma as well, so it would look like "wrapped around her throat, squeezing tightly, ready to burst at any minute." Again, that just makes it flow better. For "portraits", you chose to use the word possessively, so there would be an apostrophe before the "s". Same thing for "isnt"; an apostrophe before the "t".
Last thing, I promise T-T :
just end your very last sentence with a question mark so that it would be "Who would have thought that Lady Starling's pearl choker would be replaced with the finest rope noose?"
Anyways overall I thought you did a great job!
Yes sorry I believe there is something wrong with my keyboard because as I’ve been writing it puts different letters as what I am typing. But thank you very much for the advice and support!
ohh gotcha!
